Albus Dumbledore's final wish
by Ashinia
Summary: "We're all gonna die aren't we? Curse you Hatake Kakashi! Curse you AND this stupid castle to the deepest parts of hell!" were the words currently dominating the thoughts of 10 young shinobi who would all rather be dancing naked in a forest fire while covered in petrol, and it all started innocently...with an old man in a dress.
1. Chapter 1

**It all started with an old man in a dress...**

A blond man woke up with a feeling that something bad was about to happen and his worst fears were confirmed when a loud _pop_ was heard and small pug with a ninja headband appeared on his bed, needless to say he was not very happy young man.

"Uh..." the pug sighed before pressing his paw down onto the man's chest _hard_.

"Close your mouth blondie and get dressed, the Hokage has summoned you." the man flinched before grabbing a kunai knife from under his pillow and pointing it at a now rather bored looking pug

"But it's my day off!"

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger kid" the pug said and with another pop he was gone, leaving one very unhappy blond jounin behind.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Ah Naruto so nice of you to finally show up...20 minutes late." a man dressed in red and white robes and a mask over half his face said as Naruto opened the door and stepped inside

"Well look who's talking HEY Kiba! Suigetsu! Shino! Chouji! Lee! Neji! Shikamaru! Sasuke! Gaa- wait what's going on here? And who's the old man?" he said as he stared at said 'old man' who just smiled and waved at him. The masked man finally put down the small orange book he was reading and turned to face the young ninja assembled in his office.

"I assume you all want to know why you are here." the blond jounin snorted at that

"No shit Kakashi sensei." and was elbowed in the stomach by a very annoyed looking pale black haired man

"Quiet moron." the masked man who will now be referred to as Kakashi sent an appreciative nod at the annoyed pale man

"Thank you Sasuke, this is Albus Dumbledore and he-"

"Albus? What kind of a name is that?" remarked a brunette man with red triangle tattoos on either side of his face

"I know right?" agreed a white haired, purple eyed young man

"Sounds like that noise Sakura's pet ferret likes making." said the blonde man again

"Silence! Now as I was saying he is a wizard, shut up, from the wizard realm back in London and is in dire need of our help. Mr Dumbledore you may speak now." the 'old man' who appeared to be wearing a long blue dress stood up and turned to face the young shinobi

"Greetings all, as your hokage has said I am a wizard and I am here to ask for a favour." just then a pale hand was raised

"Yes?"

"What's a wizard?" the other eight young shinobi made noises of agreement while a red haired man dressed in a similar fashion to the masked man decided to make a chair out of sand and get comfortable. The old man smiled brightly at the young men

"Excellent question. See a wizard is a person who is skilled in magic or who has magical powers like this for example. Aguamenti!" he swished a long wooden stick around for a few times before a spark appeared and just like that the brunette with the triangle tattoos was drenched from head to toe with water.

"Woah!" exclaimed the white haired man

"That is so cool!" added a chubby brunette with swirl tattoos on his face

"No hand signs _and_ no chakra control needed? How youthful!" this time it was a black haired man with big round eyes and a bowl haircut

"Yeah yeah we get, could you spell me dry now?" the 'old man' nodded before swishing his wand again and the triangle brunette was once again dry. Another brunette with a small afro and dark glasses covering his eyes raised his hand

"Mr Dumbledore, are you able to perform killing spells or do you use potions for that kind of stuff?" the blond gasped at his fellow jounin

"Shino what kind of question is that?" and was elbowed in the stomach again but this time it was the white haired man who administered the assault

"Quiet blondie, so old man can you or can you not kill someone with that stick?"

"Suigetsu!" a pale eyed, long haired brunette scolded as the 'old man' chuckled lightly at their antics before swishing his wand again and ten books appeared on the masked man's desk

"These books have every single spell, charm and potion to ever be recorded and yes there are some spells that guarantee instant or prolonged death." the young man with the sun glasses nodded before moving to grab a book while the others followed.

"As I was saying I need your help you see our world is currently facing a threat in the form of a very powerful dark wizard going by the name of Voldemort." the triangle brunette groaned loudly

"Kami, even your villains have stupid names." the others had to physically hold back snorts of amusement but the bowl cut man looked at his teammate in a disapproving manner

"Kiba that is most unyouthful." that seemed to sober everyone up...until the chubby brunette decided to open his mouth

"Volde-whonow?" and no amount of force on earth could have stopped the snickers and snorts this time. The old guy laughed along with them before fixing his gaze on the triangle brunette

"Well yes it is a rather...peculiar name I have to say." the old man said and the triangle brunette snorted

"Says the guy called Albus." he was then subjected to the same punishment the blond man had received earlier.

"Inuzuka shut up, they're not _from_ Japan you moron. Sir please continue"

"Very well, it seems that Voldemort has made alliances with other realms and quite frankly the shinobi realm is the only one I can fully trust due to the third hokage being a very dear friend of mine. Now since I was murdered about a year ago-"

"old man's gone senile."

"Kibaaaaa"

"I know i'll shut up"

"So how come you are here if you died a year ago?" the pale eyed brunette asked

"When I died I was not able to be completely wiped from existence so you may say that I am a very powerful ghost."

"So can all wizards become magical ghosts?"

"Not all wizards but when you are as old as me you learn a few things. Moving on, after my murder a new headmaster who is working for Voldemort has taken my place, his name is Septimus Order, Mr Kiba please refrain from voicing your opinion thank you." the group snorted while Kiba grumbled lowly, the old man smiled once more before continuing. "Since next term which will be in two weeks' time, will be the traditional wizarding exchange in which ten students from three other wizarding schools and their headmasters will attend classes like the students of the host school while the headmasters will teach the other schools about their school, pardon if this is a bit confusing. Anywho since Hogwarts is the host school this decade I enlisted the hidden leaf village as Konoha all boys wizarding Academy and I need you to go to the Hogwarts school of wizardry as young wizards and help the students fight against the evil within and outside the school until Voldemort and his allies finally perish." the ten shinobi blinked as the old man sat down and the masked man aka the Hokage stood up.

"Which is why I have chosen you nine for this S-rank mission, you can't pass through the portal to the wizard realm unless you have a figure of authority with you and since Gaara is the youngest Kage, he has been chosen to go with you." the now new students of Konoha all boys wizarding academy allowed all the information to soak in before a young man with a spiky brown ponytail who had been sleep listening finally decided to ask a question

"Wait so I get that the Kazekage is coming with us but his age will only allow him to be a student like us so who is our headmaster?"

' _not Gai Sensei'_

 _'not Gai Sensei'_

 _'not my Sensei'_

 _'not Kakashi'_

 _'not Gai Sensei'_ the Hokage as if hearing their thoughts smiled at them through his mask.

"Unfortunately Gai Sensei is currently on a long term mission to the hidden stone village." there was a collective sigh of relief and one if disappointment.

"It is not anyone you know relax. I have a friend in the hidden mist who has a friend who has a brother who's ex girlfriend's best friends older sisters wife has been to the wizarding realm a couple of times and she agreed to help us out." even the old man had to sweatdrop at the hokage's rather cheerful little speech.

"Yes her name is Katsume Yashinoka and oh here she is." just then the door opened to reveal a red haired middle aged woman dressed in a traditional red kimono and red high heeled shoes. She smiled kindly at the group.

"Hello there."

"Ah Mrs Yashinoka, glad you could make it. Kids this is Mrs Yashinoka Katsume and your new headmistress." Mrs Yashinoka nodded

"Thank you and nice to see you all. So I'm guessing that our mission has been explained to you." the boys nodded slowly and she smiled sympathetically

"I know, bit too much to swallow right? No worries we will meet tomorrow at training ground 7 at exactly 8am please don't be late. goodbye." and with that she turned and walked out of the room, leaving behind a very silent office.

"...hey Naruto 50yen says she's over 40." the triangle brunette said to the blond

"Nope I say 35 to 40" the pale black haired young man walked over to the two

"She's probably 50 something." both the blond and the brunette blinked

"Sasuke really?" the pale man shrugged

"Didn't you hear, she's married. Add to the fact that she is wearing a traditional kimono _and_ high heeled shoes" the brunette nodded in understanding

"Oh yeah you might be right, buuut I'm just gonna stick to 40."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The nine jounin and one kage stood facing Mrs Yashinoka who was smiling sweetly at them.

"Well then thank you for arriving more or less on time let's start with introductions, my name is Katsume Yashinoka but you will call me Katsume because anything else makes me feel old. I am thirty eight years old and I am a jounin in the hidden lightning village, now your turn." the triangle brunette spoke first

"My names Inuzuka Kiba but you will call me Kiba the Great, I am 18 years old, this is Akamaru and we are jounin in the hidden leaf village." the blond, the white haired and the chubby brunette snickered. The black haired one rolled his eyes at the three

"Tch idiots, names Uchiha Sasuke, 18 and a jounin." the blond, after glaring at his scowling teammate spoke next

"Uzumaki Naruto! 18, current jounin and future seventh hokage!"

"As if" Naruto then fixed his glare at the pale eyed boy who just ignored him "Hyuuga Neji, 19 and a jounin." the bowl cut man was next and he grinned at Katsume

"My name is Rock Lee and I am also at the youthful age of 19, I too am a jounin." it was now the red haired guy's turn

"Sabaku no Gaara, 18, Kazekage." the ponytailed brunette sighed forlornly before he slowly started speaking

"...Nara Shikamaru, same as Sasuke." well there is man of few words. Next was the afro sunglass guy

"Aburame Shino, I also am of the age of 18 and the rank of jounin." the white haired shot a cheeky grin before striking a pose

"Hozuki Suigetsu but you my lady can call me Love." he then winked at Mrs Yashinoka "I am 18 which goes perfectly with 38 and I'm a jounin just like you." the chubby brunette slowly shook his head

"Akimichi Chouji I'm 18 years old and also a jounin." Katsume nodded at them before reaching into her bag and pulling out a book similar to the ones that the old man gave to the K.A.B.W.A students.

"As you saw the front half has spells which are in latin or english and the back half has the japanese spells, I hope you have learned a few of them since we will be spending the next two weeks learning and using the spells, charms and potions in there." she then reached into her bag and brought out eleven wooden sticks, throwing one at each boy and keeping one for herself.

"Those will be your wands, now for them to work you will need to channel your chakra onto the wand until it changes colour then you will be able to start casting spells, but only the minor ones since you are not wizards but the best part about those wands is that you can do any jutsu you like with them and it will happen like this for example." the then pointed her wand which had already changed from brown to red at a nearby tree.

"Raifu no surasshu!" _(lightning wind slash)_ a bolt of lightning came out of the wand and slashed the tree in half "so any jutsu that you can do except for summons and kekkei genkai plus all of the spells in the blue and orange section of your book can easily be executed with your wand once it has been chakra infused." both Sasuke and Gaara raised their hands

"Yes?"

"So I can't use _Avada Kedavra?"_ Sasuke asked sounding quite disappointed

"Or _Crucio_?" Gaara's voice also held the same sentiment as Sasuke's and Mrs Yashinoka's smile faltered as she stared at the two young men in front of her

"No I'm afraid not... so anyway let's get practicing!" as everyone started moving away to practice their jutsu's and spells a very lovely thought entered the mind of one Uzumaki Naruto.

"Hey Kiba, Sasuke...you guys owe me 50yen each."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 **Z/N: K.A.B.W.A stands for Konoha All Boys Wizarding Academy.**

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter and I don't think anyone who writes on this sites does either._

 **That is the end of chapter one! Constructive criticism is very welcome as I am a new writer but flames...**


	2. In which Draco Malfoy gets an ally

**In which Draco Malfoy gets an ally**

Our unlucky ten young men stood in their traditional shinobi gear while facing four very worried looking young women and one middle aged man in a green jumpsuit.

"Now, Naruto, Sasuke, please don't screw this up," spoke one of them, a young lady with short pink hair and green eyes. "You don't know how lucky you are to be given the opportunity to go into another realm... Some of us can only dream." She gave a wishful sigh while one of her companions, another girl with long brunette hair twisted into two twin buns nodded in agreement before smiling kindly at both Neji and Lee.

"The same goes for you guys." she said "If only I was a boy."

A third member of party, a blue haired kunoichi with eyes identical to Neji's, stepped up and gave a small bow to Kiba and Shino.

"I hope your mission goes well. Good luck, you two, and come back safely." She then turned to face the rest of the 'students' and gave another bow. "The same goes to all of you." Her teammates smiled at her while the others thankfully nodded. The final female member of the send-off group, a young lady with long blonde hair tied in a high ponytail, grinned at the group

"Well, same goes for me, but while you're there, make sure to tell a few dashing young wizards about me, okay?" The group groaned while the pink haired and brunette girl grinned at her.

"Tell them about me too okay?"

"Same here!"

"Well, I will make sure they do. Time to go, boys." A new voice said and the small group turned, only to gape at the newcomer. Surprisingly it was Chouji who found his voice first.

"Um, Ms Katsume, exactly what are you wearing?" Katsume, who was dressed in a red pencil skirt with a white blouse and a red jacket. The ensemble was completed with red stiletto heels and her hair was styled in a huge neat bun on her head. She smiled at Chouji.

"It's my new headmistress gear."

"But if that's the case, then shouldn't you be wearing robes like the old man showed us?" asked Neji and Katsume grimaced

"Neji, dear, the day I wear that blanket with sleeves is the day the sun turns blue. Now come along, you need to change into your uniforms before we depart." She turned and walked away towards the Hokage Tower, oblivious to the horrors that awaited them in the place called Hogwarts.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Well this is new." Kakashi remarked as he and Dumbledore stared at the ten students and their headmistress. Katsume smirked

"Well I think it's lovely."

"That's because you're the one who made them." Kiba said as he pulled at his red tie.

"Would you prefer the sleeved blankets because I can easily transform your blazers into them." the boys who were dressed in black jeans, red sneakers, white shirts, red ties and completed with red blazers that had the leaf village symbol on their front pockets hastily shook their heads.

"No we're good. No offence old man but your outfits do everything but scream 'sexy' which is what I am" Suigetsu said while looking approvingly at his new outfit. Dumbledore laughed

"None taken, you know not all wizarding schools wear robes in fact I believe that only the british wizards actually wear robes these days. Anywho you should all get going now! The other schools should be arriving at Hogwarts now." Kakashi then stood up and handed Katsume a large scroll.

"This will be your house and mode of transport, Yamato built it Yesterday so good luck!" and with that he made a hand seal while Dumbledore swished his wand and the portal opened to reveal a clearing.

"This clearing is right outside the forest so when you get there you open the scroll and once you are all in the house it will then take you towards the castle." the students and headmaster both nodded before jumping through the portal onto the wizarding world. Once they were all through the portal gradually became smaller until it completely disappeared. Katsume then opened the scroll and a loud pop was heard before the smoke moved to reveal a big Japanese styled fortress. Both Kiba and Naruto wolf whistled

"Now this is a house!" Katsume chuckled before the front door of the fortress opened slowly and they all stepped in and it closed again before rising up and heading towards the Hogwarts castle.

"It's flying!" Suigetsu exclaimed and Sasuke tsked before his eyes turned red with black pupils.

"Hmm, it looks like he made it to obey commands from our 'headmistress'. Pretty cool." Neji nodded before activating his own Kekkei Genkai.

"Byakugan! This fortress is also chakra infused but why...oh there it is. Seems like this fortress has its own chakra network, how unusual." Lee then called them all to the window where a large white carriage driven by flying horses zoomed past and a small ship emerged from the lake.

"Damn those carriage wizards stole our idea." Naruto grumbled and they all sighed in defeat.

"No they did not, they are actually flying and we are not." Katsume said from where she sat on the floor. Sasuke raised his eyebrow in question and she pulled out her wand, swished it and the fortress floor turned to glass. They all looked down to see a pair of giant wooden legs walking towards the castle. This time even Gaara had to gape at the sight.

"So we're in a walking fortress?" he asked

"Not exactly, we're actually in a human fortress."

"Huh?"

"The huge door that we entered through was the mouth, the elongated rooms on either side of the fortress are the arms, the two gigantic windows you saw up there are the eyes so our fortress is indeed as you young kids say 'the coolest'."

"Thank you Yamato sensei!" Naruto yelled out

" _No problem I'm glad to help_." a deep voice rang out through the fortress and eleven people all jumped in surprise. Katsume recovered first and looked up at the fortress stairs.

"Yamato sir, you came with us?"

 _No I am still in the shinobi realm. It's just that I have the ability to connect with every chakra infused building I make."_

"So that means..."

 _"Exactly so every time my name is mentioned I will be able to communicate with you."_

"How is this possible?"

 _"Well as much I would like to carry on chatting you guys should get off now, we have arrived."_ just then they felt the fortress lowering again and the mouth opened to reveal students walking into the Hogwarts castle door.

"Guys come here." Katsume then swished her wand again over the heads of the ten. "You are now able to speak and understand English and just for security sake you may not speak Japanese within Hogwarts unless it is an emergency. Just so we can have the extra leverage understood?"

"Yes mam" was the collective answer

"Well then let's go and show these wizards what shinobi are made of!"

The ten shinobi then took out their wands from within their bags and went to join their headmistress in the castle.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Welcome to Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry my name is Septimus Order and I am the headmaster of this school. Everyone else is in the great hall at the moment so you shall be making your introductions now and the students shall also be sorted into the school houses. We shall start with Beauxbatons followed by Durmstrang and lastly Konoha academy now if you could excuse me I shall be leaving to join the Hogwarts staff, Beauxbatons you may start as soon as I mention your name." and with that the man with shoulder length white hair walked in through a pair of big brown doors leaving behind a group of very confused shinobi.

"Introduction?"

"Oh shit I forgot about that!" the ten shinobi turned to glare at their headmistress who had the decency to look sheepish.

"Hey in my defense you can't expect someone of my age to remember everything." the glares only hardened

 _"Next from Norway_ _please welcome the sons of of Durmstrang with their headmaster Igor Karkaroff!"_

Shikamaru yawned loudly, successfully catching the attention of the upset group of shinobi. "This whole thing is such a drag anyway, why can't we just walk in like normal people?" the glares shifted from Katsume to him and he sighed in defeat.

"Shikamaru we are not normal people, we are wizard shinobi and we-"

"Exactly! We're wizard shinobi we can totally do this!" the students turned to look at their headmistress who smirked

"It's quite simple really, first we make use of clones and a transformation jutsu to..."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Septimus Order smiled as he greeted Igor Karkaroff and the Durmstrang students moved to stand behind the Beauxbatons students.

"Last but not least from Hiroshima Japan please welcome the young men from Konoha Academy with their headmistress Lady Yashinoka!" the inhabitants of the great hall all turned to the door where a pale black haired boy walked in alone. He then smirked before pulling out his wand and twirling it around in circles and as he did that a long electric dragon came out of the wand and the boy disappeared. The dragon then performed a series of impressive back flips before it split into eleven smaller dragons, all with different colours. The students watched in wonder as the eleven dragons made their way towards the headmasters while executing some very impressive acrobatics. The dragons landed and the disappeared in a puff of smoke and as the smoke cleared there instead of the dragons, stood ten boys and a tall red haired woman. The group then bowed at the students who applauded before the boys went to stand behind the Durmstrang students. The woman then turned to bow at the teachers and headmasters. Septimus nodded towards her before moving to address the crown.

"As you all know this year is the traditional wizarding exchange which happens once every ten years. The thirty students you see here will be your new classmates while the three headmasters will be your new teachers. They will be attending the same classes as you and will be eating the great hall for the duration of their stay here." he then turned to face the thirty foreign students. "Now we shall be sorting you into different houses. There are four Houses, each taking after one of Hogwart's founders. They are: Gryffindor, a house that values bravery, daring, nerve, and chivalry above all other virtues, Slytherin, a place that only those with ambition, cunning and resourcefulness will be accepted, Hufflepuff, where students are filled with dedication, patience, loyalty, hard work, and fair play, and Ravenclaw, where intelligence, knowledge and curiosity reign above all others. Now, let us begin, shall we?" The headmistress of Beauxbatons Madame Maxime stepped up and started reading out the names of her students while the students of Konoha were having a hushed conversation between themselves.

"Well obviously I am going to be in the Gryffindor house."

"Moron they said Gryffindor values bravery not stupidity so I'm afraid you don't quite make the cut."

"Shut up you Slytherin rat."

'Naruto, Sasuke really now?"

"What? He started it, you heard him too Shino."

"Keep your voice down damn it."

"Heh sorry Shikamaru."

"First from Konoha Academy, Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto sent one last glare towards Sasuke before moving to sit on the chair and having the sorting hat placed on his head.

 _"Hmm what do we have here? A very tough decision to make now hmm."_

 _Come on weird talking hat, place me in Gryffindor already_

 _"Hmm I don't know I mean Gryffindor is the house of complete bravery not utter stupidity...oh well if Ronald Weasley and Seamus Finnigan made it I don't see why you wouldn't._

 _Wha-_

"Gryffindor!" the Gryffindor house clapped as Naruto growled at the hat before walking towards the Gryffindor table.

"Next is Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke sauntered over to the chair and the hat was placed on his head.

 _"Hmm, oh my."_

 _What?_

 _"How on earth are you still a free man? I have half a mind to scream Azkaban."_

 _Hn go ahead, whatever that is_

 _"You're right Azkaban is not good for you, dementors can't suck out a heartless, soulless person."_

 _Tch if you think I'm that terrible wait until you meet Gaara_

"Slytherin!" Sasuke smirked as he walked to the clapping Slytherin table.

"Next Shikamaru Nara."

 _"Never have I ever encountered such a lazy individual."_

 _Never have I ever encountered such an annoying hat._

 _"Touché_ Ravenclaw! _"_

"Chouji Akimichi."

 _"My my what a kind soul you are, a perfect Hufflepuff I must say."_

 _Thank you sir_

"Hufflepuff!"

"Suigetsu Hozuki"

 _Hey hat, put me in that blue house_

 _"May I ask why you want to be placed in Ravenclaw?"_

 _What are you blind? Look at those girls I mean hello!_

 _"Very well child."_

 _Thank you_

"Slytherin!"

 _What the?_

"Neji Hyuuga."

 _"My what intelligence, what strategy. You will be a very successful man my child."_

 _I appreciate that but it has always been fated that I become a great wizard in the future_

"Ravenclaw!"

"Kiba Inuzuka."

 _"Oh no another stupid one."_

 _HEY_

"Gryffindor!"

Shino Aburame

 _"..."_

 _..._

 _"..."_

 _..._

"Ravenclaw!"

Lee Rock

 _"So...much...youth."_

 _You are right Hat sir after all one should always embrace ones youth while they still have it!_

" _Whatever you say kid_ Hufflepuff!"

"Gaara Sabaku." gaara moved to sit on the chair and the hat had barely touched his head when it screamed louder than it ever has

"SLYTHERIIIIN!" the crowd jumped in surprise as Gaara sighed and Sasuke gave the now trembling hat a classic _I-told-you-so_ look.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Good day guys my name Hermione Granger, head girl and welcome to the Gryffindor house." a slim brunette girl said as she smiled brightly at the seven new Gryffindor students. Both Naruto and Kiba however were too busy mourning the lack of chopsticks on the table.

"So how is it in Japan?" a brunette boy who sat opposite Kiba asked and was elbowed in the side by a red haired boy.

"Seamus you don't just ask people that!"

"And you don't elbow people like that. Blimey Ron that really hurt!" Naruto pondered for a moment where he had heard those two names before his eyes widened comically and he pointed at the two arguing boys.

" _You!"_ needless to say he easily got the attention of the two along with half the Gryffindor table.

"Us?"

"Ronald Weasley and Seamus Finnigan right?" both boys nodded slowly and Naruto grinned.

"That weird talking hat was comparing my level of 'utter stupidity' to yours before I was sorted here! Wait, that came out wrong." both boys blinked while a brunette boy with glasses, a red haired girl and a boy with an afro similar to Shino's burst out laughing. Kiba choked on oxygen before turning to face Naruto.

"It said the same thing to me!" Ron's face started to match his hair as he turned to glare at the table

"That stupid hat! I will burn it!"

"I will provide the fire!" Seamus added

"Count me in!" Naruto exclaimed

"Same here, let's do this!" this time is was Kiba who spoke.

"Um guys you might want to keep it down Professor Snape is looking at you." the glasses boy said and both Ron and Seamus slammed their mouths shut and began eating which reminded Naruto and Kiba of their current predicament. The glasses boy laughed at his friend's antics before turning to smile at Naruto.

"Names Harry potter, nice to meet you." both boys returned his greeting before returning to staring at their food. The glasses boy followed their line of sight before adopting a worried look on his face.

"Is something wrong with the food because I'm sure the house elves can-"

"No no the food smells great it's just..." both Naruto and kiba returned to their kicked puppy looks.

"Oh I know!" Hermione and the red haired girl exclaimed at once.

"In Japan you eat with chopsticks right?" the boys perked up at the word chopsticks, the red haired girl giggled and Hermione smiled in understanding while Glasses boy, Ron, Seamus and Afro boy looked confused. Hermione then picked up a fork and used it to take a slice of steak she then picked up a knife and slowly used it to cut the steak before lifting the fork to her mouth and taking a bite of the steak. Both Naruto and Kiba stared at her for a while and nodded gratefully before copying what they had just seen.

"Hey Ginny what's that all about?" asked Ron and the red haired girl rolled her eyes

"In Japan they use chopsticks to eat instead of forks and spoons."

"Oh." he then shot an accusing glare at the two Japanese boys who were now both halfway through their plates "Well why didn't you say so? I thought we were getting along."

"Hey! We tried to but you guys but you two were busy being afraid of that snake guy staring at you and the rest of you were laughing at them" Kiba said

"Snake guy?" Hermione asked and Dean who had been quiet until then snorted

"I think they mean professor Snape."

"Snake Snape same difference." Naruto said nonchalantly and Harry slowly shook his head while trying to stifle his snickers.

"Better not say that where he can here you. The greasy git literally lives to humiliate Gryffindors."

"Ronald no."

"What we both know its true Mione."

"He's kinda right Mione."

"Harry!"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Supper had finally come to an end and the eleven shinobi now found themselves sitting in one of the fortress rooms. Katsume cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. "So are you kids settling in alright?" Naruto was about to respond when someone beat him to it.

 _"Hello? Is anyone there?"_

"Old man? How?"

 _"Mr Yamato is currently helping me connect with you lot."_

"But we didn't even say his name!"

 _"I am a very powerful wizard Naruto, I can do things. Anyway I want to alert you that danger is coming your way and if I were you I would start making friends with Hogwarts"_

"Hogwarts? What kind of sick parent names their child after a school which is named after the warts of a pig?"

"What is _wrong_ with you wizards?"

" _This coming from a boy who's name means tooth and another who is named after an ingredient in a dish?"_

 _"_ Mr Dumbledore you were saying?" Katsume said before either boy could retaliate.

 _"Ah yes you see Hogwarts is in every sense a living being, its founders gave it a magical signature of its own which I must say is more powerful that any wizard out there. Make friends with Hogwarts and it will lend you a hand in the battle to come. The members of the DA can help you with this feat."_

"DA?"

 _"Dumbledore's Army."_

"Old man you had a fanclub?"

 _"Unfortunately no Mr Suigetsu, the DA was formed to help prepare willing students for the war. It was founded and taught by Harry Potter."_

"Harry?" both Kiba and Naruto said while Sasuke and Suigetsu followed with "Potter?"

 _"Yes, that's the one! Oh dear I have to go now goodbye."_ and just like that the cheerful old man was gone leaving behind confused, bored and sleepy shinobi. Katsume yawned

"Well I'm tired, we'll finish this conversation tomorrow night." she then got up and headed towards her room while the others followed suit and soon the only sounds in the fortress were light snores.

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"Welcome new students my name is professor Snape and I am your new potions teacher. Since both Durmstrang and Beauxbatons use the same curriculum as Hogwarts we shall have no problem however." he turned to face the students of Konoha "The headmistress if Konoha Academy has informed me that there is no such thing as potions in your school." the five shinobi breathed a sigh of relief and silently thanked the cloud village Jounin. "So I must ask, let's say you are required to look exactly like someone else down to the smallest detail. Here we use something called a polyjuice potion but since you don't use potions how do you solve that equation?" the other students watched in barely concealed anticipation as Suigetsu raised his hand.

"Well sir we use something called the transformation jutsu."

"And how does that work exactly?" Suigetsu shrugged.

"Ask Naruto to show you. It is, after all, the only thing he's good at," he said, before adding as an afterthought, "besides eating of course."

"HEY!"

"Just do it idiot and Suigetsu stop baiting him." Naruto grumbled lowly but stood up and headed towards the front of the class. He then raised his wand and pointed it at himself.

"HA!" the boy was then engulfed in a puff of smoke before it dispelled and the students gasped. There still pointing the wand at himself was none other than Severus Snape, well another Severus Snape as the original was staring wide eyed the Fake Snape who was now smirking at the class.

"And this is the transformation jutsu."

"But how?" a Slytherin student asked "all you did was point the wand at yourself and scream ha!" Fake Snape blinked at the girl

"Well yeah." Original Snape scoffed

"Very well you may return to your seat." Naruto pointed his wand at himself again and transformed back to normal. Professor Snape then instructed the other students to take out their textbooks. He then turned to stare at the shinobi.

"Oh by the way tomorrow you will be paired with a student from Hogwarts until this weekend in which you shall purchase your own potions textbooks because in my class I shall not tolerate students who are here just to occupy space understood?" they all nodded and professor Snape turned his attention back to the other students.

"Today you will be brewing a blood thickening potion, Miss Granger would you care to list the ingredients out loud?" Hermione nodded briskly before beginning to list a number of rather unpleasant...things.

"Well sir to make a blood thickening potion you will need the venom of a baby Acromantula, the leaves of a thorn tree and the eyes and organs of a great mountain toad."

" _WHAT!?"_

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"I am deeply sorry professor he's not always like this you see Naruto has uh, a lot of pet toads so they are very close to his heart."

"That is not an excuse for a student to act like that Mrs Yashinoka! Your boy trashed my class and destroyed a year's supply of potions ingredients!"

"Again I apologise Professor Snape I will replace all the toad organs and I will see to it that the boy does not go un punished."

"Very well good day mam." and with that the potions professor turned and waltzed out of the room leaving behind a very embarrassed, very angry elderly kunoichi.

"Na. Ru. TOOOOOOOO"

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"- _OOOOOOO!"_ deep within the Gryffindor common room one Naruto Uzumaki jumped at the sound of his headmistress' voice and hid behind one unsuspecting Harry Potter while one Hermione Granger blinked at the odd behaviour of the blond. One Kiba Inuzuka then burst out laughing while pointing at the very nervous looking Naruto Uzumaki. Finally tired of being left out of the two man loop the one name Harry Potter turned to the boy who was still hiding behind his back.

"Oi mate what's wrong?" Naruto frantically shook his head and glared at the still laughing Kiba. Ron walked over to them and smiled sympathetically at Naruto.

"Heard the scream from all the way upstairs. Looks like Snape told on you which reminds me, why did you do that?" Hermione nodded along as she finally put her charms essay aside in favour of leaning in to the conversation. Naruto sighed

"Erm well you see back home I have a pet toad so, yeah." he inwardly shivered at the thought of what Gamabunta would do to him if he were to know that he was being referred to as a 'pet'. Hermione nodded in understanding before turning to face Harry and Ron.

"Don't you guys have Quidditch practice?" both boys' eyes widened before they scurried off the sofas only briefly turning to invite Naruto and Kiba to come watch.

"Sure! Come on Naruto."

"Yeah let me just put on my shoes."

 _"YOU LITTLE PARASITE! SHOW YOURSELF!"_

"On second thought...I'll just stay here and keep Hermione company, you guys go enjoy yourselves."

"Coward."

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"Getsu Getsu, look at the bigger picture. Clearly Parvati is hotter that Padma."

"Blaise my good friend all that foundation has made you blind I mean any fool can tell that Padma is _smoking_."

"And so are you if you think she's hotter than Parvati." both Sasuke and a blonde boy rolled their eyes at the two before the blond boy turned to face Sasuke.

"So let me get this straight, you are the last surviving member of your clan?" Sasuke nodded in confirmation and the boy gave him a suspicious look.

"And are you _sure_ you weren't the one who killed them?"

"For the last time Malfoy no." the boy shrugged

"Just checking I mean isn't it a bit convenient that the day your entire surname gets slaughtered is the day that you arrive home later than usual. Not to forget the fact that there are no witnesses to support your alibi but hey who's judging?." Sasuke shook his head at the boy in front of him.

"Hey Malfoy."

"Hmm?"

"What do you do around here to pass time?"

"Oh the usual boring stuff make Potter's life a living hell, make first years cry, torture other students, abuse my head boy status you know."

"...you're right that does sound boring."

"Believe me I know, hey Uchiha." Sasuke raised an eyebrow in question and the boy smirked. "Would you like to help me insert pink dye into the Gryffindor water system?"

"Hn."

"...i'll just take that as a yes."

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 _Next on Albus Dumbledore's final wish_ **: In which the Dark Lord has had enough.**

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 _Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter._


	3. in which the Dark Lord has had enough

**In which the Dark Lord has had enough.**

"Lucius...Lucius...Damn it Malfoy get over here!" the Dark Lord hissed as a man with pale blond hair and a white mask strolled in.

"I heard you the first time my lord."

"Well you surely took your time now didn't you?" If Lucius was anything but a pure blooded Malfoy he would have rolled his eyes but instead he just calmly took a seat opposite his Lord.

"Well then Lucius, start talking and for my sake take of that bloody mask! I told you that you should only wear that in public." Lucius slowly shook his head but pulled the mask of and placed it on the table in front of him.

"My Lord there are sixty wizards and witches who wish to become death eaters waiting in the foyer."

"How many of them have actually killed a person before?"

"...Eight my Lord."

"So what on earth are the other fifty two doing here? I swear people think becoming a death eater is the latest fashion. Tell me Lucius does being a death eater look like fun and games these days? You know what I am tired of this shite, kill them all."

"My Lord, but why-"

"Well it is pretty clear that nobody around here takes me seriously anymore therefore I shall make an example out of those fools. In fact a I should write a list of requirements needed to become a death eater and get the bloody prophet to publish it, yesssss that should do just fine."

"My Lord I meant why do I have to be the one to kill them? Believe it or not I do have better ways to spend my day and none of them include throwing killing curses at a bunch of incompetent witches and wizards"

"Because its your job as a death eater?"

"No its not! Get one of the new recruits to do it."

"Lucius, my most lazy servant-"

"Second in command."

"Yes that too. Very well then we have more pressing matters to discuss. First tell me how is little Draco doing? He should be turning twelve soon correct?"

"My Lord Draco is already eighteen years of age."

"Oh really now? They grow up so quickly, anyway what about that old fool Septimus Order." the Dark Lord enquired as he slowly stroked the top of Nagini's head.

"He has confirmed that all three schools have arrived and are settling down quite well." the Dark Lord rolled his eyes.

"Even I knew that Lucius, anything on Potter?"

"Yes my Lord, it seems Mr Potter still very much wants to kill you."

"I swear that boy is obsessed with me, please tell me Lucius what did _I_ ever do to him?"

"You killed Albus Dumbledore and-"

"Hey, that's on your spawn not me."

"You also killed his parents and attempted to _Avada Kedavra_ him as an infant."

"Exactly! The spell backfired and killed _me_ instead, not him in fact I'm the one with a real reason to kill him now as revenge for murdering me in cold blood!"

"That is what you have been trying to do since you were resurrected-"

"Quiet Lucius your Lord is speaking. As I was saying I have done worse things to thousands of people but you don't see them crying over it like Harry bloody potter! Can't the boy just accept the fact that people die? Now don't even get me started on that bloody scar of his..." both Lucius and Nagini sighed in defeat as they were once again subjected to the Dark Lords infamous potter rants. This was going to be a long day.

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"Hello Naruto." Katsume said as she sauntered into the Gryffindor common room. Naruto who had been skim reading one of Hermione's textbooks jumped in surprise as he turned to face the seething kunoichi. Hermione looked up to spare Naruto a sympathetic glance before returning to her potions essay.

"Detention, 8pm tonight. Don't be late."

"What! Why?"

"Because of your stupid act I have just been subjected to the most humiliating four minutes of my life and I've once worked with Killer B! In all my years I have _never_ had to endure anything like this and I do not appreciate it one bit understood! So you will get of your ass and-"

"Uh Katsume maybe you should calm down a-"

"Calm down? _Calm down?_ Now listen here blondie because of you I have to spend the rest of _my_ day searching for a bloody toads innards and you're telling me to _calm down?_ I will show you calm down in fact why don't I just throw you out of that window head first because that will most definitely calm me down!" by now the entire Gryffindor common room was blatantly staring at the enraged headmistress who was glaring at the wide eyed blond on the couch. "Now please tell me Uzumaki what on earth possessed you to destroy a professors potions ingredients?" at this Naruto glared back at the woman.

"They were toad's organs! You know how much Gamabunta..." he then gulped loudly as Katsume's face began matching her hair.

"What are you channeling Kakashi now? Since when does a great mountain toad which is the size of a child's palm look _anything_ like Gamabunta who is the size of a-" she then took a deep breath before schooling her features and adopting a stern look on her face.

"Detention tonight, 8pm for you and all my other students, if any of them ask why then feel free to inform them that it is all your fault. I have spoken." she then smiled sweetly at the rest of rather terrified looking Gryffindors "good day everyone." and with that she swiftly turned on her heel and walked out of the room, the clack of her shoes being the only sound audible in the room.

As soon as she left all the Gryffindors each gave him a sympathetic look before carrying on with what they were doing before as if nothing ever happened.

"Mate you have one scary headmistress." Seamus said as he moved to sit next to Naruto who just groaned loudly before placing his head into his hands.

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On the other side of Hogwarts near the water pipes stood two figures, one dressed in Slytherin uniform and the other dressed in Konoha uniform. In their hands sat three bottles of a pink like substance.

"Then after Itachi murdered everyone he knocked me unconscious and fled the village." the Konoha boy said as he carefully sliced open one of the pipes

"Hmm so where is he now?" the Slytherin one asked as he unscrewed one of the bottled and unloaded its contents into the pipe.

"He's dead." Konoha said as he sealed the first one and cut open the second.

"Oh he got a death sentence?" the Slytherin poured the second bottle into the pipe.

"No I killed him."

"...so he killed your entire clan in a matter of hours then you as an unconscious six year old boy, still managed to kill him? Uchiha just confess already."

"No you idiot! He fled and joined a criminal organization, I grew up and then finally managed to kill him when I was fifteen."

"I don't know, I find it a tad bit suspicious that you managed to kill the man who murdered your entire clan before the authorities could question him. It sounds a bit like you were covering your tracks Uchiha."

" _Malfoy."_

"Hey, I'm just saying." the Slytherin sighed as he poured the final bottle into the third pipe. The Konoha boy sealed the pipe and they both made their way back into the castle.

"Just out of curiosity, why aren't your friends helping you with this?"

"Hmm well Crabbe and Goyle were my bodyguards but their parents pulled them out of Hogwarts this year. Millicent is too much of a loner, Blaise is not interested in anything that doesn't involve girls and Pansy is too uptight." Sasuke sneered at the rambling boy.

"They are all busy. Four words, that's all I needed to hear Malfoy." Draco was about to sneer back when he spotted three figures who were walking towards him.

"Well if it isn't potty and his pet weasel."

"Shove off Malfoy." Both Harry and Ron said as they glared at the smirking blond. Kiba on the other hand grinned at Sasuke who simply nodded back in greeting.

"So where's Suigetsu and Gaara?" Sasuke raised an elegant eyebrow at his fellow jounin.

"Do I look like their keeper to you?" Kiba shrugged, already used to Sasuke's rather peculiar way of answering people. Sasuke snorted when he realized that the boy was still waiting for an answer and for a fleeting moment he considered turning and walking off like the insufferable bastard he is but remembered that Kiba was very much similar to Naruto in persistence and sighed in defeat.

"Gaara is in the library with a girl named Millicent and Suigetsu is by the lake. Where is the moron?"

"Still in the Gryffindor tower I reckon since Katsume seems to be out for his blood." Sasuke inwardly winces as he recalls the enraged kunoichi's yell for his best friend.

"Hn the whole school heard. Shikamaru's made a betting poll on what she will do to him." Kiba's ears perked up at the word 'betting poll'.

"Really? Who's placed a bet yet?"

"Everyone, except Naruto." Kiba grinned before digging into his front pocket for some loose change when the sound of a body hitting the floor had them both turning to face the three Hogwarts students.

"Malfoy what did you do!" Harry seethed as he looked down at an unconscious but smiling Ron. Draco who was now smirking gleefully simply lowered his wand.

"Make sure to put a leash on your weasel Potter and if you didn't see he attacked me first." Kiba let out a choked sound as he looked at Draco and then Sasuke and back to Draco before he burst out laughing. All three teenagers stared at the boy who was laughing uncontrollably.

"Oi Kiba, you okay mate?" Harry asked in genuine concern

"Weasel haha Ita hehe _CHI_!" the then went back to rolling on the floor while a vein popped on Sasuke's forehead. Both Harry and Draco blinked at the sight before Draco and Sasuke turned and walked towards the castle entrance, leaving behind three boys one laughing on the ground, one unconscious and one wondering just how he was going to get both of them to the hospital wing.

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The Konoha ten all sat cross legged on the floor back in the fortress when Katsume casually strolled in carrying a small stack of papers. She then gave each of the boys a single sheet.

"I need you to gather everything on your sheet of paper from the forbidden forest tomorrow night, you may take your wands along but you may not use them understood?" the ten boys simply spared her a fleeting glance before resuming to their conversations. Katsume scowled before lifting her wand and dousing all of them in freezing cold water.

"This will be your detention, I was going to make you go tonight but it's a full moon so no students are allowed outside...unfortunately." there were murmurs of question before Lee raised a slightly quivering and drenched hand.

"I'm sorry Mrs Katsume but why are you giving us detentions? Have we done anything wrong?" Naruto gulped audibly as Katsume fixed him with an unimpressed stare.

"Well since Naruto here has failed to inform you I will. You see Naruto here destroyed a professors potions ingredients and hence deserves detention but since you are here as a team I figured you should also partake in the detention. Now goodnight and don't stay up late." and as soon as she left all nine boys turned to glare at a sheepish looking Naruto. Shikamaru yawned loudly.

"Well looks like Shino won the bet."

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The entire Gryffindor students save for the foreign ones were _not_ having a good day. It seems that someone had inserted pink hair dye into all the Gryffindor showers hence all the students were now sporting hot pink hair. Of course the other houses found this to be absolutely hilarious while the Konoha ten were strongly reminded of their very short tempered and very strong medic nin.

"Oh no, guys look at this!" a pink haired Hermione said as she handed Naruto and Kiba her copy of _The Daily Prophet_ since they were the only ones without one. The two boys swiftly read the article, their eyes getting wider and wider with every sentence.

 _The Dark Lord Strikes Again_

 _By Rita Skeeter_

 _Yesterday evening a total of Fifty Two witches and wizards were found dead on a pile on the doorstep of the ministry doors. All victims had been killed with the killing spell and there was a note attached to the body on top of the pile, it read:_

 **Okay listen here you peasants! I am tired of incompetent morons showing up on my doorstep wishing to become Death Eaters as if it is some kind of fashion trend. How many people do I have to kill for you to get it through your thick empty skulls that being a dark wizard is** ** _not_** **a game? Since it seems that you people won't do anything about this I, Lord Voldemort have composed a list of requirements needed to become a death eater.**

 **1\. You must have killed at least two wizards, bodies will be needed as proof.**

 **2\. You must harbor a feeling of pure un diluted hate towards The-boy-who-is-obsessed-with-me Harry sodding Potter.**

 **3\. You must know how to look, dress and act like a proper dark wizard.**

 **4\. Under no circumstances should you ever show your dark mark to anyone. It is not a bloody tattoo dammit!**

 **5\. You must be over the age of Seventeen to become a death eater. I am running an evil empire not a day care center.**

 **6\. Do not come to me with problems I haven't created, refer to rule 5.**

 **7\. I don't care how beautiful or how important you think you are if you dare try to enter my empire without the required bodies then we will see how your beauty and importance saves you from a starving basilisk.**

 **Those are my terms, if you don't fit the above requirements then I suggest you join Potters group they'll take anyone these days...and you wonder why the Light hasn't won, honestly I will be doing a public service by eliminating you all. Oh and Draco your father says hi.**

The entire hall turned to face Draco in stunned silence and Sasuke smirked as moved to face a rather pale looking blond.

"So Malfoy, are you sure you weren't involved in the killing of those 52 witches and wizards? I mean the evidence..."

"Sod off Uchiha."

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 _Next on Albus Dumbledore's Final Wish:_ ** _In which Harry Potter buries the hatchet and the Konoha ten encounter an unexpected foe._**

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 _Z/N: thank you sooo much to those who have read, followed, favoured, and reviewed the fic._

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter.**


	4. In which Harry Potter buries the hatch

**_In which Harry Potter buries the hatchet and the Konoha ten encounter an unexpected foe._**

Kiba put down the newspaper and exchanged looks with Naruto before turning towards a seething Harry.

"And this is the guy you're all so afraid of?" Harry along with half the Gryffindor table glared at the brunette who had spent most of his life around the likes of Neji, Shino and Sasuke and hence un phased by the glares. "I mean...really?" across the table Suigetsu dropped his copy of the _prophet_ and promptly began laughing which of course set off Lee, Chouji and Naruto. Shino, Neji and Gaara softly snickered while Sasuke continued smirking at a rather irate Draco Malfoy. Finally Septimus Order stood up and stared down at a frowning Katsume.

"Mrs Yashinoka please control your students, this is no laughing matter." Katsume nodded in agreement as she stood up and smoothed over her suit.

" _SILENCE!"_ the entire hall stared wide eyed at the now smiling woman. "Would all the students of Konoha Academy please follow me out, It seems that I need to discuss proper manners with you lot." She then walked around the head table and glided out of the great hall, the reluctant shinobi trailing behind her.

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Once within the fortress Katsume turned to glare at the group.

"Now exactly what just happened and would _somebody_ please wake him up?" she said as she gestured towards the still sleeping Shikamaru who was slung casually over Chouji's shoulder. Chouji nodded and threw him off which effectively did the job. Katsume's frown twitched slightly upwards.

"Thank you, now guys I understand that this Voldemort character has come off as rather...peculiar." Kiba snorted

"Peculiar? The man published a list of requirements to join his army! What kind of dark lord does that?"

"One who goes by the unfortunate name of Voldemort?"

"That's what I was going to say Suigetsu!" a vein on Katsume forehead twitched as the grip on her wand tightened.

"Don't underestimate someone because of their mental stability Kiba. If you paid attention you would have realized that the most powerful shinobi are always a bit touched in the head area." Neji and Gaara nodded in agreement

"True, just look at Orochimaru or Madara...or the fifth Hokage."

"You're absolutely right Gaara." Katsume smiled at the two before looking at the time and frowning slightly.

"Okay listen now, the man has made his move so it's time to make ours. I need you guys to find out all you can about Voldemort from the students, Kiba and Naruto you two will stick with the one named Harry Potter and his two friends. Neji I need you to find out all you can about the castle and make friends with it like Dumbledore said. Shino stick with that blonde friend of yours I believe her name is?"

"Luna Lovegood." Katsume nodded

"Yes her, If my sources are correct then the girl is a seer and her abilities might come in handy. Lee and Chouji I need you to speak with the entire Hufflepuff house and see what they know about Voldemort, try to refrain from saying his name out loud when speaking to them though just refer to him as You-Know-Who." both Lee and Chouji nodded enthusiastically. "Suigetsu, Gaara and Sasuke. The students you three have been spending time with happen to be the children of some of the most influential supporters of Voldemort going by the names of Mrs Zabini, Mr Bulstrode and of course Mr Malfoy. Shikamaru I need you to visit the forbidden forest to communicate with the daytime animals. You will all be going back there tonight to deal with the evening ones as part of your detention. Now move you're already late!" the nine shinobi nodded curtly at the woman before shooting death glares at Naruto as they made their way back to Hogwarts castle.

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"Hey Malfoy wait up!" Draco turned around to see the pink haired Potter sprinting towards him. He raised an eyebrow in question

"What is it Potter?"

"Whew, hoooo, look I just wanted to say-" he then bent over, clutched his stomach with one hand and raised the other " _Whew!"_ Okay I just wanted to say that I really don't think you're a death eater and _whoo_! I mean you still are an, _okay_ , an insufferable prat but...seeing as you haven't done anything Death Eater ish in the past two years and you've stopped insulting muggle-borns I guess you're okay." he then pushed back a strand of pink hair which immediately went back to its position over his left eye. Draco blinked twice before placing the back of his hand on Harry's forehead.

"Um potty, are you feeling alright? If you're going to die then please don't do it here." Harry scowled at the boy.

"Look Malfoy I'm just trying to be nice here even though I know very well that _you're_ responsible for this" he pointed to his neon pink hair and Draco raised an amused eyebrow

"Potter in the seven years I have known you, you have never been _nice_ to me so what do you want? Did Granger put you up to this? Is this some ploy to humiliate the death eater spawn? Plus you don't have any solid proof that says I had anything to do with the Gryffindorks sudden change in hair colour." Harry rolled his eyes.

"Malfoy as much as I loath to say this."

"Oh wow loath? Look who finally bought a dictionary!"

" _As much as I loath to say this_ I, we need your help." Malfoy blinked again but before his answer was cut off by a very familiar unwelcome voice.

"Harry there you are!" Hermione exclaimed as she and Ron made their way towards the pair. "Malfoy." she acknowledged and Draco simply sneered at her. Ron who had witnessed it turned to glare at the blond before his face brightened up again.

"Hey Kiba! Naruto, over here!" the two boys in question beamed as they spotted their targets for the day. Draco who was now reliving his worst nightmare by being surrounded by five Gryffindors in an empty corridor slowly backed away until he reached the corner in which he turned and walked as fast as he could because Malfoys simply do not ever _run._ "

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In all his eighteen years of existing Sasuke had never, ever been so _bored_. The only thing keeping the raven haired boy from falling asleep on his desk was pure pride...and the fact that both Naruto and Kiba kept smirking at him and Uchiha Sasuke was no fool. Sighing in resentment he turned towards the blond Slytherin next to him who was furiously writing on a piece of parchment and upon closer inspection he realized that they were not notes on _The history of magic._

"You're righting a love letter to...a toilet? What is _wrong_ with you Malfoy? " Sasuke whispered and Draco snorted as he folded his letter and sent it flying towards a half asleep Harry who's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he opened the letter. A few seconds passed before he pulled out his quill and started writing on said parchment. As soon as he finished he sent the parchment back to Draco who opened it hastily.

 _Yes Ferret we really do need your help. Meet us tomorrow at the Astronomy tower after Hogsmede._ Sasuke read the letter and raised a questioning eyebrow at the blond who simply sighed.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with The Prophet."

"Ah yes about that. Are you also a, what do you call it again? Death something right?"

"Death eater and no I am not. Do you know what you have to do to become a death Eater?"

"Kill two people, Dress accordingly, be over the age of 17?"

"And get a dark mark" Draco visibly shuddered at the last two words he said "I would rather die than willingly mark my _perfect_ skin. I may be tolerant of most things but self-mutilation is where I draw the line!" Should Sasuke have been anyone else his jaw would have hit the ground.

"So killing innocent people, no problem. Getting a small tattoo on your arm? A fate worse than death. Got it." Draco beamed.

"I knew you would see things from my point of view Uchiha." Sasuke shook his head disbelievingly as Draco smirked at him.

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"So guys what's the deal with this Voldemort character." All the members of the Golden Trio visibly choked on air at Kiba's rather nonchalant question. Hermione who was the first one to recover slowly put her book down and turned towards the two shinobi.

"Um Voldemort is the dark wizard who has been terrorizing the wizarding community for over-"

"Voldemort is a crazy wizard who wants to rule the world and get rid of all half bloods and muggle borns and Harry here is the one destined to kill him hence the lightning scar" Ron said and both Kiba and Naruto sent him appreciative grins.

"Okay got that so muggle borns are?"

"Witches and Wizards born from non magical parents like Mione over here." Naruto hummed in understanding and Kiba sent him a questioning glance.

"Sakura and Lee are muggle borns."

"What the...oh. What about the dark mark, what is that?"

"It's a mark in which all of Voldemort's supporters which are called Death Eaters have branded onto their skin." Hermione supplied helpfully. Kiba looked lost for a second before his face brightened.

"HEY! We also had a guy like that!"

"Kiba, what the hell are you talking about?" Naruto asked quickly.

"Don't you remember Orochimaru? He also gave people the curse seal right?"

Harry who had been looking depressed since they started talking about his arch nemesis finally perked up.

"You also have a Dark Wizard in Japan?"

"Had. He died about three years ago, I think."Naruto answered and Harry nodded.

"Oh, who killed him?" Ron asked, expecting something really cool like

"Sasuke." not that. Even Hermione looked surprised at this. Harry's eyes widened.

"Sasuke as in Malfoy's friend? He's one who was destined to save you all from this Orochimaru bloke?"

"Tch Sasuke? Willingly save someone? No way! The only reason Sasuke even bothered with the guy was because Orochimaru gave him a curse seal when he was twelve "All three non shinobi blinked.

"So Orochimaru gave Sasuke a curse seal and hence he decided to kill him as a form of revenge or something like that?" Harry asked and Naruto shook his head.

"Uh no. Sasuke only went after Orochimaru so he could get to his brother and kill him."

"Um mate" Ron said "Maybe you start from the beginning. Why did Sasuke want to kill his brother?" Naruto sighed

"Okay when Sasuke was six his entire clan was murdered by his older brother Itachi."

"With the help of Madara."

"Shut up Kiba I was getting to that. So after that he used a ju- a spell to make Sasuke relive his clans murder, he then knocked him out and fled the village."

"Even though he was set up by the elders."

"Kiba dammit! Stop ruining my story! Anyway so Sasuke grew up with no family and became all angsty as if he was the only person in the world who had lost a family, stupid jerk I was homeless too you know, but nobody cares about poor Naruto since he was born homeless."

"Oh shut up blondie. You had Iruka sensei didn't you and you weren't born homeless since your father was the freaking hokage!"

"Yeah MY father sacrificed himself to save the village and what do I get? Zilch, nada, niks! Do you know people would throw vegetables at me because I had no parents-"

"They threw vegetables at you because you wouldn't stop pranking them."

" _No parents!"_ Naruto repeated "But Mr Ice princess Uchiha loses a family and suddenly he's the pride and joy of the entire village! Hermione you're smart, please tell me how on earth is that fair!" Everyone turned to face the nervous looking brunette who chuckled uneasily.

"Erm yeah, maybe you guys should finish the Orochimaru story, not that I don't sympathize with you Naruto but...yeah." Naruto nodded solemnly and then he grinned.

"So where was I oh yes so Sasuke grew up all angsty...

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Suigetsu and Blaise swaggered into the Slytherin common room and made their way towards Gaara and Millicent who were having a discussion on how to effectively crush a human's skull. They reached the pair just in time to hear Gaara hum in agreement to what Millicent had just said.

"True Millicent but even though a rock might do the job, there is still a high chance of the victim surviving, although write that down as well." Millicent nodded

"Okay number 89 death by blunt rock. That's it now we just need to test out which way works best which might be a problem." Gaara pondered for a moment before coming to a silent conclusion.

"Not necessarily, I've recently come across a spell which can instantly heal any wound as long as it is done immediately after the damage."

"So we can try out all the ways on someone and they won't have to die."

"The pain will still be there though, unfortunately."

"Of course although where are we supposed to find a guinea pig like that?" Gaara smirked towards the two standing boys.

"Hello Blaise, Suigetsu, would you mind helping us with a little experiment?" both boys laughed uncertainly.

"Erm as much as we would _love_ to help you too out we have a um...a thing! A thing with the Ravenclaw, yeah." Blaise nodded along and both boys darted out of the common room as if their heels were on fire. Millicent snorted

"Bunch of cowards."

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"...and then Sasuke got bitten by Orochimaru." all the Hogwarts students adopted looks of pure disgust. "Which gave him the curse seal."

"Which looks like a cool comma tattoo." Kiba added.

"Sasuke then met his brother again in a hotel and his brother broke his arm and told him some crap I can't remember."

"That all happened after Orochimaru destroyed half the village and killed the third hokage, who is kinda like our version of a minister."

"And then Sasuke got power hungry and went to Orochimaru while knowing very well that Orochimaru just wanted him for his body." the disgusted looks morphed into horrified ones and Kiba burst out laughing while Naruto realized exactly how what he just said sounded to non- shinobi. His eyes widened

"No not like that! Orochimaru is immortal see but to keep living he would have to transfer his soul into another body!" all three Gryffindors gave him skeptical looks while Kiba finally stopped laughing and gave Naruto the signal to continue.

"So anyway Sasuke went with Orochimaru to the Sound village"

"Which isn't really a village."

"Quiet Kiba! Then Orochimaru's old teammate and ex friend helped us to locate Orochimaru's hideout..."

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"Hey Death Eater!" Draco turned around to shoot an irritated glare at the group of seventh year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs who sneered back at him."

"What do you want?"

"We want you to leave this school you Death Eater scum!" one yelled and drew out his wand while Draco simply yawned.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. See this guy." he pointed towards a bored looking Sasuke. "He's a psychotic serial killer and just happens to be my friend. Throw a spell and lose you life filthy boy." Sasuke glared darkly at the blond but since he was in the same line of sight as the angry mob they gulped and slowly moved backwards until they reached the corner in which they turned and sprinted away screaming bloody murder. Sasuke blinked, confused

"What's up with them?" Draco shrugged

"Don't know, couldn't care less. Now to the great hall my serial killer friend."

"Call me that again and you'll be my next victim."

"Ah so you finally confess Uchiha. At long last!" Sasuke sneered at him before walking past him towards the great hall for lunch.

"Your silence means yes!"

"Your persistence means you're an idiot!"

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"After three years Sasuke finally killed Orochimaru and formed his own group of"

"You forgot the part where you were obsessed with him for all three of those years he was absent."

"I was _not_ obsessed!"

"Really now? Oh Sasuke come back to the village! Sasuke there's still time to change! Sasuke I'm pregnant with your child, let's run away together!" Kiba exclaimed in a lovesick tone while both Harry and Ron snickered. Naruto glared at the boy

"I have never said that." he seethed and Kiba snorted in disbelief.

"Yeah tell that to your teammates, especially Sai."

"Oh come on Kiba! We all know that anything that comes out of Sai's mouth is total shite."

"Whatever you say man." Kiba said and Naruto's glare intensified

"So when is the baby due Naruto?"

"Not you too Ron!"

"Well then stop arguing with fang boy here and get on with the bloody story!'

"Sheesh keep your dress on man. Anywho Sasuke trained with him-"

"Wait a tick." Hermione interrupted "You said Orochimaru was immortal so how did Sasuke kill him?"

"Well he didn't exactly kill him. Part of Orochimaru was absorbed into his curse seal but he was later pulled out of Sasuke's curse seal and burned alive by his brother."

"The one who killed his entire clan?" Ginny who had just joined the small group a few minutes ago asked and Kiba grinned.

"Finally the best part! See Sasuke's brother didn't kill his family just because. He was actually ordered to do it by the village elders on account that Sasuke could live since the elders were feeling threatened by the Uchiha clan. Poor Sasuke only found out the truth after he killed his brother." the four Gryffindors all adopted sympathetic looks on their faces. "Then he joined an evil organization and wanted to destroy the entire village along with his ancestor Madara Uchiha who worked alongside Kabuto who used to work for Orochimaru before he died who killed the third Hokage who was partially responsible for not stopping his brother from committing the massacre who Sasuke found out was already half blind and dying when they fought. Let's just say that didn't sit well with him but eventually he..."

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Katsume smiled at the scowling shinobi gathered in front of the forbidden forest. "Now I'm sure you all know what you need to do tonight. Just remember you may only use your wands if you are on the brink of death so have fun and I will meet you all back at the fortress in three hours." she then winked at the group and sauntered off towards the Hogwarts castle. The shinobi grumbled lowly but headed deeper into the forest while ignoring the sounds coming from within the forest.

They hadn't gone very far when Neji who was in front suddenly stopped walking. Lee turned to look at his teammate who was frozen on the spot.

"Neji my friend what on earth are you HOLY SHIT!" even Shikamaru had to gape at the boy who until now couldn't even say the word damn although before he could voice his comment he was distracted by a series of horrified screams from his fellow shinobi...then he turned towards where everyone was facing and if it wasn't so troublesome, Shikamaru would have fainted.

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 _Next on Albus Dumbledore's Final Wish_ ** _:_** __ **In which Shikamaru breaks a Hogwarts record and Neji gets a new fangirl.**

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 _Z/N: Thank you to those who have followed, favoured and read this fic._

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and/or Harry Potter.**


	5. in which Shikamaru breaks a Hogwarts rec

**In which Shikamaru breaks a Hogwarts record and Neji gets a new fangirl**.

The thing that had some of the most elite shinobi frozen on the spot slowly turned around…and it screamed, which triggered the defense mechanisms of the ten shinobi which unfortunately, consisted of equally loud screaming. That is until the thing finally calmed down enough to ask a coherent question.

"Who are you?"

"Who are we? _What_ are you?" Kiba responded and the thing adopted a look of shock and mild offence before its eyes settled on one of the three shinobi whose eyes were not threatening to pop out of their sockets, the things eyes widened before they narrowed significantly.

"You! What are you doing here?" the shinobi in question simply scoffed.

"I am attending detention, what are you doing here?'

"I live here and I mean what are you doing in this realm?" the shinobi raised an eyebrow.

"You live in a forest? How unfortunate and I am attending school here." The thing sneered at the shinobi who simply regarded it with a cool glance.

"Wait Sasuke you know this guy?" Naruto asked and both Sasuke and the thing turned to stare the boy. Finally Sasuke sighed.

"We met about two years ago when this fool was convincing Orochimaru that immortality can be gained by simply drinking the blood of a unicorn" Sasuke briefly scoffed at the now very offended looking thing "and by splitting your soul into different parts and scattering it all over Japan, Orochimaru being the gullible moron that he is attempted to do the first one unfortunately for him there weren't any unicorns in Japan and I just happened to kill him the day before he could split his soul into different pieces. Of course to thank this fool Orochimaru decided to give him one of his snake summons. I think its name was Nagirimi or Nagare or something like that." This statement was soon followed by subdued chatter before a pale blue hand brought silence to the gang once more.

"First of all her name is NAGINI! Secondly, no Uchiha I do not live in a _forest_ , I was just clearing my mind and since I have been so rudely interrupted I will be taking my leave, good day shinobi." The thing then turned briskly and walked towards the other side of the forest, robes billowing out behind him in a similar fashion to the potions professor. Suigetsu wolf whistled as the shinobi shook their heads and continued seeking out answers about this Voldemort character and his Death Eaters.

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Katsume placed the book she was reading on the table as her ten students entered the fortress looking vaguely tired and defeated. She smirked as she used her wand to organize the tatami mats in a semi-circle in front of her and the shinobi, after taking off their shoes settled down on the mats.

So what did you guys gather? You've been gone for some time, I was actually beginning to worry about you, no offense." The shinobi blinked at her before all sighing at the same time. Katsume frowned. "I am guessing that is a no." Lee shrugged

"Our apologies Mrs Katsume but it seems as if the forest animals are very keen on withholding any information about this Voldemort." Suigetsu nodded in agreement.

"Lee is right I mean the only thing that even bothered to speak to us tonight was Sasuke's friend." Sasuke growled at the boy.

"He is not my friend dammit!" Suigetsu snickered as Katsume raised a single red eyebrow.

"…friend?" Suigetsu nodded eagerly and Naruto snorted.

"You should have seen him Katsume. He was so pale blue like a frozen dead body."

"And he has the flattest nose ever!" Kiba added.

"Kiba that was not a nose it was just two holes in the middle of his face." Chouji said and the group made noises of agreement. Katsume's eyes widened as she pulled a photograph out from between the pages of her book and flipped it over to show them the picture printed there.

"Are you children talking about this man?"

"Yeah that's him right Sasuke?" Naruto answered and Katsume's eye twitched as she threw the book at the blond shinobi.

"You idiots!" she bellowed. "That man, Sasuke's friend, is Voldemort! So not only did you let him escape but you also made contact and I assume had a lovely little chat with him!" the shinobi then turned their accusing eyes at an equally shocked Sasuke. As usual Kiba spoke first while pointing an accusing finger at Sasuke

"Dude you lived with him! How on earth did you not know that was Voldemort?" Sasuke gave Kiba an irritated stare.

"He called himself Tom Riddle when he was with Orochimaru, not Voldemort." Katsume took a deep breath and smiled weakly at the small gathering

"This mission is going to give me grey hairs, well since now he knows that there are shinobi in Hogwarts we should be extra careful, do not make yourselves stand out and try to act as neutral as possible when in the company of the wizards but you still need to gather as much information as you can. Now because tomorrow is a Saturday and I have been told that you will be allowed to go to the nearby town for the duration of the day." Naruto, Kiba, Lee, Chouji and Suigetsu all cheered but quieted down at the stern look directed at them by their Headmistress "Neji, this will be the perfect opportunity to scan the castle with the help of Shikamaru since his shadow technique might help get doors unlocked and your Byakugan can see through the walls. The rest of you will use this time to chat with your targets. I have also been alerted that you need some specific items so you can participate during class therefore I will be going to a place called Diagon alley where I will purchase the stuff needed for you. If I return to find out that one of you managed to let anything vital slip then there will be severe consequences. I may not be as powerful as some of you but I am still the team leader and I will take the required procedures for disobeying an order understood?" the shinobi nodded as they stood up and made their way towards their respective rooms.

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Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy stood opposite each other and just kept examining the other for any form of foul-play, wands at the ready. Eventually Harry sighed and placed both his hands up in a gesture of surrender or peace and Draco smirked.

"Lovely morning isn't it Potter?" Harry scowled at the boy

"Malfoy I just wanted to remind you about our meeting today after Hogsmede." Draco sneered at him as he pocketed his wand.

"I can actually remember yesterday's events quite clearly because unlike you Potty, I do not spend my free time smashing my head against a wall. Now do run along, I am beginning to feel Weasley's stupidity infecting me." Harry glared at the blond Slytherin in front of him before turning his head and walking away from Draco towards the great hall. Draco smirked at the retreating Gryffindor as he made his way towards the castles entrance to wait for a certain Konoha student who by pure coincidence was now walking in his direction.

"There's my clan murdering friend. How was your night, any uplifting dreams? Possibly ones about confessing to your sins?" Sasuke blinked twice at his slightly insane friend.

"Malfoy stop smoking whatever grass you're on, it's the wrong type." Draco only smiled mockingly at him before slinging an arm around Sasuke as they made their way towards the great hall.

"You should know shouldn't you Uchiha, is that what you were on when you killed your entire family?"

"Malfoy I didn-you know what forget it, yes I was smoking grass when I managed to wipe my entire clan from the face of the earth at the tender age of 6."

"Now you see why I keep smoking this stuff, if it enabled you to completely destroy an entire surname at the age of six then imagine what it can do for me, I could be invincible!" Sasuke scoffed lightly and slowly shook his head 'he's a lost cause.'

"So Malfoy how is it that your father is Voldemort's right hand man and yet you are not a Death Eater, I mean it strikes me as a bit odd that-."

"See that's the thing Uchiha, everyone paints the dark lord as this horrible creature who eats muggle-borns for breakfast and regularly Crucio's his Death Eaters to the point of utter insanity."

"..and I'm guessing that is not true?"

"Oh its true, well the Crucio part anyway, I will have to ask father about the breakfast part though."

"That still doesn't explain how you managed to avoid getting the dark mark."

"Because my irresistible charm and charisma can warm even the coldest of hearts, it also helps that the dark lord still thinks I'm twelve years of age." Sasuke stared wide eyed at the rather obvious eighteen year old Slytherin who was pouring himself some pumpkin juice. Once again he shook his head started eating, opting to ignore the blonde's last statement.

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Neji and Shikamaru walked through the empty halls of Hogwarts on a bright Saturday afternoon. Neji with his Byakugan activated while Shikamaru for once was actually looking alive, well as alive as Shikamaru could ever look.

"Anything yet Hyuuga?" he asked as they passed what seemed to be the 100th moving portrait. Neji shook his head.

"Apart from the fact that this castle has a chakra level that rivals the ten tails, nothing." Shikamaru yawned and Neji rolled his eyes at his fellow jounin before he halted in his steps. "I hear something, through this door." He said as he pried the door opened and walked into what appeared to be a bathroom and right in front of one of the toilet doors stood a female ghost with her hair in two ponytails. When the ghost saw the young man now standing in front of her she immediately stopped her moaning and smiled warmly at him.

"Oh a visitor? Finally, no one ever visits me anymore." She said in a sad tone ad Neji blinked before he smiled back at the ghost.

"I was unaware that this bathroom was off limits, I apologize for intruding Miss?" the ghost gasped and placed a transparent hand on her lips

"Wow such manners, what a charming boy!" she then took note of his uniform and frowned "You're not from here are you? I am Myrtle by the way." Neji nodded

"Yes I am only attending for the Wizarding school skill exchange program, I am actually from the Konoha all boys Wizarding academy and pleasure to meet you Miss Myrtle." He bowed slightly at the now flustered looking ghost

"The pleasure is all mine, what is your name by the way?"

"Neji Hyuuga."

"Well Neji you wouldn't mind keeping me company for a while now would you? No one is ever interested in talking to me in this school anymore." Neji smiled slightly

"Very well Miss Myrtle what would you like to talk about?"

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Suigetsu and Blaise were practically floating down the streets of Hogsmede, winking seductively at passing witches when Suigetsu tuned to his fellow self-proclaimed playboy.

"Hey Blaise."

"Hmm?"

"Are you a death eater?" Blaise stopped dead in his tracks and narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Why the sudden question Getsu?" Suigetsu shrugged

"Well I've been checking out the schools gossip when I heard that while most girls do find tattoos highly attractive and even though the dark mark is basically a tattoo-"

"I know that you idiot, I mean why are you asking me this? Have I given you reason to believe that I am a Death Eater?" He glared and Suigetsu inwardly panicked but shrugged nonetheless.

"Oh, no nothing of the sort. I just need to make sure that you aren't hiding anything that can jeopardize my chances with the- **OW** " He exclaimed as Blaise swiftly elbowed him in the chest. "What is wrong with you?" he said whilst glaring at the very smug looking Slytherin.

"No I am not a Death Eater you bloody wanker." Blaise said and then added in a whisper "Well at least not yet."

"What do you mean not yet Zabini?" Suigetsu enquired suspiciously.

"I mean….never mind, its nothing." Suigetsu's eyes narrowed but he dropped the subject opting to return to it on a later date, preferably somewhere without all this noise.

"Hey Blaise, Suigetsu!" a very familiar voice called out from the shop that they were passing. Both boys turned to look at a grinning Draco who waved them over to his table where Millicent, Theo, Pansy and Sasuke were already seated. They sat down opposite the four students as Draco waved another pair of students to their table who happened to be none other than Gaara and a slightly miffed looking Millicent.

After everyone had taken their seats Draco pulled out his wand and muttered a privacy spell.

"Welcome my fellow Slytherins, I am sure you are all wondering why I have summoned you here." Blaise raised a perfectly trimmed eyebrow at the boy.

"Draco, dear friend of mine you did not summon us here you simply-"

"Oh hush, now where was I? Ah yes well as you all know for the past two I have been performing a series of well-planned pranks on the Griffindorks but it has come to my attention that simply pranking one house is not effective enough not to mention the fact that I am unable to execute some of my more…Slytherin pranks therefore I have decided to recruit a few of my most trusted Slytherins to wreak havoc throughout the castle, so what do you say?" Suigetsu grinned as all five legitimate Hogwarts students blinked at the blond while Sasuke simply sighed and Gaara pulled out a blood pop from within his pocket and the Slytherins being the cool human beings they were paid no heed to the fact that the redhead was basically eating solidified blood.

Eventually Pansy clicked her tongue at Draco before smiling mischievously "I'm in."

"Same here." Millicent, Theo, Blaise and the three shinobi answered. Draco smirked.

"Well then, let's get planning shall we?"

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Shikamaru Nara was just lying in the Astronomy tower, minding his own business when he felt an imposing presence looming over him. At first he chose to ignore it because opening his eyes was way too much of a drag, besides it wasn't like the presence was bothering so with his mind firmly made up, the teenage genius returned to his hourly nap.

"Ahem." A feminine voice said from above but Shikamaru, being well…Shikamaru simply chose to ignore the sound and return to his nap.

" _AHEM_!" the voice repeated, much louder this time and Shikamaru sighed forlornly as he slowly opened his eyes to give the unknown presence an annoyed stare. The presence which turned out to just be another student from Hogwarts, Shikamaru estimated that she might have been about 16 or 17. The student plastered a fake smile on her face as she held out a notepad and a quill.

"Shikamaru Nara, my name is Amanda Hopkins and I am a seventh year Ravenclaw prefect." Shikamaru blinked at the girl and closed his eyes again, troublesome girl interrupting his nap for no good reason. "I am here along with all the Ravenclaw prefects and a few students." Dammit woman I already know that "And we are here to ask you a few questions to see if you are really worthy of being in the Ravenclaw house, both your other schoolmates have also been questioned." Shikamaru groaned inwardly as he painstakingly re-opened his eyes and used up all of his energy to throw a weak glare at the girl and her entourage.

"Look girl, I'm really busy at the moment so come back later okay?" the girl simply waved him off as the rest of the gathered students moved closer towards him, effectively blocking his _perfect_ view of the clouds.

"Oh this will only take a few minutes now all you need to do is answer these six riddles and we will be out of your hair, don't worry no student has ever gotten them all correct so don't be too disappointed with your results. Now the first one. I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have lungs, but I need air; I don't have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?" Shikamaru scoffed.

"Troublesome, the answer is fire." Amanda's smile remained firmly in place.

"Correct, now for the next one. When you have me, you feel like sharing me. But, if you do share me, you don't have me. What am I?"

"A secret."

"Good next, with thieves I consort, with the vilest, in short, I'm quite at ease in depravity, yet all divines use me, and savants can't lose me, for I am the center of gravity."

"The letter v."

"So far so good Nara but I must warn you that the next five will be much harder, let's begin. Two fathers and two sons sat down to eat eggs for breakfast. They ate exactly three eggs and each person had an egg. Explain how?"

"Tch One of the fathers is a grandfather therefore one of the fathers is also a son." Shikamaru said as he yawned. Amanda's smile dropped, along with most of the students gathered.

"Lucky guess. Next a father and son went to a quidditch match. The apparation went faulty and they both got splinched. The father died and the son was badly injured. He needed surgery but in the hospital the Healer assigned to the boy says, "I can't operate on this boy, he's my son." Who's the Healer?"

"The boy's mother, look girl-" Shikamaru started but was promptly silenced by the glares sent his way from the gathered students.

"A man in Azkaban gets a visitor. Afterwards a guard asks the man who the visitor was. The man replies: "brothers and sisters I have none, but that man's father is my father's son." What's the relationship between the man and the visitor?" Amanda said hurriedly and Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at the witch.

"Really?"

"Answer the question Nara." Shikamaru sighed

"Fine, the visitor was the man's son." Amanda's eyes widened as the small gathering of witches and wizards broke out in confused and excited murmurs.

"These last two questions have never been answered correctly by any student in the history of Hogwarts Nara, if you answer these two correctly well then-"

"Just give me the riddles so I can go back to sleep woman." Amanda glared at him but cleared her throat nonetheless.

"Very well then which is the word in English that has nine letters, and remains a word at each step even when you remove one letter from it, right up to a single letter remaining. List each letter as you remove them, along with the resulting word at each step." Shikamaru smirked.

"Now that's more like it, well...Startling is the word. Begin by removing l, which makes it starting, then take away the t, making it staring, and so on, you know string, sting, sing, sin, in and I" The students along with Amanda gasped loudly at the bored looking shinobi, no Ravenclaw student has ever gotten that one correct, still there was one so clearing her throat one last time Amanda read out the final riddle.

"I have one, you have one. If you remove the first letter, a bit remains. If you remove the second, bit still remains. After much trying, you might be able to remove the third one also, but it remains. It dies hard. What is it?" Shikamaru contemplated how on earth Shino and Neji had gotten any of these riddles incorrect. Tch those lazy bastards.

"The answer is Habit, remove h and a bit remains. Remove a and bit remains. Remove b and it remains. There I've answered all your questions now let me sleep in peace." With that said Shikamaru calmly closed his eyes and entered the world of endless clouds, leaving behind a group of stunned Ravenclaws.

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"So which one of you would like to explain why we are currently in a bathroom instead of the Astronomy tower?" Draco asked as he tapped his foot on the floor impatiently. Harry sighed.

"The Ravenclaws have barricaded the tower. I couldn't get in and this was the next best place I could think of." Draco sneered at the Gryffindor but before he could respond an eerily familiar voice drifted in from the nearby cubicle."

"Neji! Is that you? I thought you had to go-" Moaning Myrtle stopped speaking and glared at the group of Gryffindor's, Konoha students and one Slytherin. "You're not my Neji." Both Harry and Draco who had already experienced the ghost's blatant disregard for personal privacy slowly edged towards the door. Myrtle spotted them and scoffed loudly.

"Oh don't get ahead of yourselves, if you must know I am over my childish crush on you two _plebeian's_ who clearly have no idea how to treat a woman! I have found a lovely young gentleman who is a hundred times more well-mannered and good looking than both of you combined!" She then turned to the three shinobi and smiled sweetly. "You three are from the same school as my dear Neji right?" they slowly nodded and Myrtles smile widened "Well if you see him tell him that Myrtle says thank you for keeping her company today. I would have done it myself but he left in such a hurry I could barely even utter a goodbye. Also tell him that he is more than welcome to come visit me again." She smirked at the shinobi before she stuck her tongue out at the Hogwarts rivals and headed back to her cubicle.

"Malfoy?"

"Yes?"

"Did Myrtle just-"

"Yes Potter."

"And she called us-"

"Uh huh." Draco answered and Harry slowly shook his head. Hermione who looked quite amused turned to the three shinobi

"So who is this lovely young gentleman who has stolen Myrtle's heart?" Kiba blinked twice before both he and Naruto burst out laughing. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the two before turning to face Hermione.

"Pale eyes, Long hair, Ravenclaw." Hermione made a noise of recognition and nodded in gratitude at him. All the while Harry and Draco stood, still particularly astounded by Myrtles outburst.

Eventually Ron of all people was the one to bring everyone back to earth.

"Oi! Lunch is starting in a few minutes so if you don't mind, could we begin the meeting?" Harry smiled sheepishly at his best mate

"Right, sorry Ron anyway Malfoy we need your help."

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 _Next on Albus Dumbledoors Final Wish_ _ **:**_ **In which the Slytherins attack and a Death Eater meeting takes place.**

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 **Z/N: Long time no update, Laptop problems, sorry about that.**

 **Disclaimer:** _I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter._


	6. In which the Slytherins attack

_**:**_ **In which the Slytherins attack and a Death Eater meeting takes place.**

Lucius Malfoy was in every sense a beautiful man and nobody would tell him otherwise, not even his dear wife AND son came even close enough to rival his epic handsomeness. Even though every single part of Lucius Malfoy was nothing less than pureblood perfection there was one feature that he adored the most. His hair, his long blond silky hair was his pride and joy and as he carefully brushed and conditioned each strand he smiled lovingly at it, why on earth Draco insisted on continuously committing the preposterous abomination of _shortening it_ was beyond even his gorgeous brain. Lucius scowled at the memory of his only son, Salazar he loved that boy almost as much as he loved himself but still…he slowly shook his head and returned to brushing the nine thousandth stand of hair.

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"You need my help with what exactly?" Draco asked while impatiently tapping his foot on the floor. Ron glared at him while Harry sighed.

"Well since we know that you are not a Death Eater-"

"And who exactly told you that Potter?" Harry ignored him in favor of slowly breathing in and out before turning to face the smirking blond again.

"Look we just do, anyway Hermione suggested that we start reaching out to the Slytherins who don't want to become Death Eaters and we thought you might be able to help us out since well you're also a Slytherin." Draco blinked twice before tilting his head back and letting out a cruel mocking laugh.

"Good joke Potter, now if that is the only reason you brought me here then I will be taking my leave." He turned to walk away when Harry quickly grabbed his arm.

"I'm not joking Malfoy and if you won't help us then we will just find another-"

"And exactly how am I supposed to do that huh Potty? 'Oh hello fellow Slytherins who don't wish to follow the Dark Lord, You remember Harry Potter? Yes the one who's been discriminating against us along with the majority of the school, yes Nigel the one with the glasses remember him? He helped write the letter to get your brother expelled because he tried to defend you against those seventh year Gryffindors back in your first year. Does that ring a bell?" Draco said before adopting a cold look on his face as Hermione gasped in shock "While I do admit that there are cruel Slytherins, me being one of them of course, but that does not mean that all of them are evil, there are evil wizards in every house Potter, you have been causing unnecessary trouble for the Slytherins ever since you arrived here, you and all the other houses so what on earth makes you think that they would ever want to cross over to your side?" when all three Gryffindors remained speechless he took a deep breath and glared icily at the startled green eyes.

"They may not want to serve the Dark Lord but they are Slytherins and we Slytherins are well known for our cunning and deviousness, they will figure something out and if they can't then _I_ will figure something out for them. One thing I am sure of is that the Dark Lord will tap-dance to muggle rock music before any of us come to _you_ for help. Good day _Potter._ " And with the classic pureblood sneer he stalked out of the bathroom, leaving behind a stunned silence.

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"So how did I do? I was aiming for the unwilling spy role but now that I think of it I did portray myself as more of the unlikely hero, oh well I guess that will have to do for now." Draco said and sighed softly and Sasuke made a noise of confusion.

"I don't understand, what exactly were you trying to achieve back there?" he asked the smug looking blond as they walked towards the Slytherin common room.

"Well Uchiha contrary to popular belief I actually do want Potter's side to win the war and since there are a few Slytherins who do not want to get that hideous tattoo on their arm, not that I blame them, I decided to brew two potions in one cauldron and make it a win situation for both the Light side and the Slytherins, yes I am that clever you may clap now." Sasuke rolled his eyes and gently cuffed the blond on the back of his head.

"That was not what I was asking. Let me rephrase my question, exactly what do _you_ gain in all of this?" Draco smirked suspiciously and Sasuke's eyes widened as puzzle pieces started rearranging themselves in his head but there was still one vital piece that was missing and as he thought back to all his previous conversations with Malfoy the piece began materializing to complete the puzzle. He turned to stare at the wizard

"So you want to become-"

"The next Dark Lord and Potter and his friends are going to help me achieve that goal by eliminating my competition, aren't I just one lucky wizard?"

"You do realize I could just go to your Headmaster and inform him of what you just told me right?"

"But you won't because you couldn't care less about anything that does not affect you in any way, now I've been coming up with an alias for myself and I have narrowed it down to three, Gorgeously Malicious, Balthazar the first or Damolicus Clufaroy. Which one sound more evil?" It was moments like these that made Sasuke wish he had just stayed a missing nin.

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Back in the girls' bathroom and oblivious to Draco's confession the three Gryffindor wizards were still in shock over what just happened. Eventually a lone tear slid down Hermione's face and Kiba held a hand out to Naruto who raised his eyebrow in question.

"Give me my 5000. Remember I told you that blondie over there was just like a less cool Itachi Uchiha and you said he was more likely to be the British version of Kabuto?" Naruto groaned as he pulled a 5000 yen note out of his pocket and handed it over to a grinning Kiba. The lone tear finally made it to the cold bathroom floor and Ron's stomach grumbled which worked to slip the other two out of their stupor.

"Oh Harry what are we going to do?" Hermione asked as she unknowingly stepped on her own tear. Harry simply shook his head in answer. Ron's stomach growled again.

"Hey I know what we can do, how about we go to this mystical place called the great hall where they have something amazing, it's called food which is completely free by the way so-" his mini-rant was cut off my Hermione smacking him upside the head.

"Ron this is serious, you heard what Malfoy said. All this time we have been thinking of the Slytherins as slimy good for nothing gits when they were actually just misunderstood." Ron gaped at her

"Woah Mione don't you think that is a bit-"

"It all makes sense now." Harry started "All those times when Malfoy insulted me, what if it was his emotionally crippled way of asking for help?"

"Harry not you too?"

"You're right Harry! Poor Malfoy." Hermione shook her head sadly while Ron buried his face in his hands

"You have good to be kidding me."

"And what if all his insults and jeers were Morse code for something?"

"Morse _what_?"

"Hmm let's see Pothead. Please offer the help each…average day?"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Quiet Ron. Or what about my father will hear about this?"

"Bloody hell Harry, Hermione. He just admitted to being evil, you all heard him right?" Ron squeaked as he turned to the two shinobi for help. Naruto sighed before stepping in between the three wizards.

"Uh guys not to be the joy kill or anything but shouldn't you focus on trying to prove Malfoy wrong by reaching out to the Slytherins instead of…whatever you're doing right now." Ron beamed at him while Harry and Hermione each blinked three times before reluctantly nodding in agreement. With that the five teenagers made their way towards the great hall, a satisfied Ron happily leading the way.

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Nigel Grim was just walking around the Hogwarts corridors, minding his own business when he was stopped in his track by the three Gryffindors he lived to despise. He sneered at the three and attempted to walk around them when he was once again stopped by a hand grabbing onto his arm. "Look Nigel we're really sorry about-"

"Please let go of me." He whispered mostly to himself but due to the fact that there was no one else around, all three heard the boy and Hermione quickly let go of the boy but moved to stand in front of him and Nigel suddenly realized that he was surrounded. "What do you want from me?" he asked in a whisper again.

"We want to help you, we know that you don't want to become a Death Eater and we can help you." He held his hand out to Nigel who just glared at it

"Who said I needed your help golden boy? I can take care of myself."

"Listen kid you don't know what you're saying, Voldemort is very powerful. You wouldn't last a second after he finds out that the son of one of his followers refuses to join him." Ron said and Nigel whipped out his wand and pointed it at him

"And what exactly can _you_ do against him and why the sudden interest in helping me because the last time I spoke to you was after you got my brother expelled. Can't say I hadn't expected it though I mean if a Gryffindor curses someone on behalf of their sibling it's considered heroic but should a Slytherin do the same then it's a definite sign of him being a dark wizard in training, you people make me sick." Nigel choked out as tears streamed down his face. Hermione pulled a tissue from out of her pocket and moved towards Nigel who curled into himself, his wand slipping out of his hand in the process.

"Stop. Stay away from me! Please just leave me alone." Just then Harry and Ron were pushed apart by a familiar blond blur which knelt down next to where Nigel was now curled up. He spoke to the frightened second year in a hushed tone and conjured a glass of water for him.

Once the boy was relatively calm Draco Malfoy turned to face the golden trio "100 points to Gryffindor for making the evil Slytherin boy cry." All three opened their mouths but shut them again when Draco raised is hand in a dismissive gesture "You heard the boy, leave him alone I'll take care of this."

"Wait Malfoy you've got it all wrong!" Ron yelled and Draco had to physically hold back a victorious smirk as he picked up Nigel's wand and helped the boy up

"Come on Nigel, let's head to the common room. You have already eaten right?" Nigel nodded quickly as they walked away from the guilt ridden Gryffindors.

As soon as they reached the common room Draco let go of the boy who grinned mischievously at the blond "Do you think they fell for it?" Draco smirked and ruffled the boy's hair.

"If they didn't then I am secretly a woman. Pleasure doing business with you Nigel, how is your brother by the way?" Nigel shrugged

"He's in America now, owns quite a number of hotels and casinos." Draco blinked at him

"..I'm guessing that means he's pretty well off?"

"I believe the correct term is loaded but yes he's doing alright. You should come with me one day to visit him." Nigel said as they parted ways, Draco to his head boy room and Nigel to his own

"Will do Nigel, thanks again."

"No problem."

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"Welcome Slytherins to the first official gathering of DA." Draco announced and the 7 Slytherins who were all currently in the head boy's room made soft noises of confusion and slight amusement.

"The DA?" Pansy finally asked and Draco scoffed at the girl

"Yes Pansy the DA. Draco's Alliance." This time there were scattered snorts all over the room "What's so funny?"

"First of all we are _not_ calling ourselves Draco's Alliance and secondly that acronym has already been taken." Theo said as he tried to force a smile down.

"By who exactly?"

"Dumbledore's Army Draco, remember back in fifth year?"

"Dumbledore has an army?" Draco asked aghast "Isn't he um dead?" Theo groaned while Suigetsu gave Sasuke a sympathetic look. Draco just scoffed at the two "Any who I have decided that we as the members of DA-"

"Okay the first agenda of this meeting is to come up with a name for our group, why we need a name is beyond even my intellectual level." All three Shinobi stared at the boy as if he had grown a third ear.

"A group _without_ a name, please tell me you're joking."

"...!"

"Yeah tell him Sasuke!"

"This is getting ridiculous." Millicent muttered as she stood up from her spot on the bed "I recommend Serpent's law." Gaara shook his head in disagreement

"That won't work in our favor Millicent, in fact any name that can be associated with a snake will automatically alert the professors that you Slytherins are to blame."

"Oh right, then how about Hufflepuff's honor?" Draco gasped while Blaise choked on a thin air. Pansy scoffed at the two

"Oh quit your dramatics it's the perfect name. Not only will it confuse everyone but it will shift all attention from us since no sane Slytherin would ever go by such a plebian name."

"And there is a reason for that. Millicent dear while that is a great idea I would rather die than be part of a group called Hufflepuff's honor."

"Very well then, how about" Sasuke whispered the name to the group

"Hmm, subtle but not too flashy, I like it." Theo said and was backed by the rest of the Slytherins.

"Great now that we finally have a name." Draco announced then he smirked devilishly "Time to make it known."

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Lucius had just finished brushing his final strand of hair when a familiar being strolled inside and took a seat on one of the plush sofas.

"Lucius guess what?" he asked and scoffed lightly when he only received a singled raised blond eyebrow in response "Remember that last week I sent a group of my death eaters to the Vampire realm?" Lucius' eyes widened a fraction this time as he gasped softly.

"Don't tell me they actually came back alive?" Voldemort grinned

"Well no, but last night a representative arrived at my chambers. He said that the vampires have agreed to hear me out as a means to thank me for the food I sent to them."

"And the vampire didn't try to eat you?"

"Now that you mention it he tried to, but his teeth fell off when he did, that was quite a spectacular I must say." Lucius sighed

"So when are you meeting with them?"

"Tonight actually but first I have to call another Death Eater meeting to discuss the progress on the Werewolf and the Naga realm before we can go speak to the vampires."

"I apologize my lord, did you just say 'we'?"

"Yes Lucius, we as in you and I."

"But my lord-"

"No excuses Lucius, it is your duty as my second in command."

"So _now_ you decide to acknowledge me as your second in command." Lucius said in a scathing tone and Voldemort glared at the pureblood

"Lucius stop complaining would you? Now come on the others are waiting in your dining hall."

They swiftly walked towards the dining hall with Lucius glaring at everything he passed until they reached the dining hall, said dining hall was already filled with individuals wearing black cloaks and white masks. Voldemort sneered at them as he took a seat on the far end of the table.

"Hello minions, now before we begin this joyous meeting is there anything that needs to be reported?" he asked while pointedly looking at the current headmaster of Hogwarts. Septimus shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"My Lord so far there is nothing of interest occurring at Hogwarts."

"Really now? What about the other one, the visiting school."

"Sir both Durmstrang and Be-"

"Not those ones you fool! Sasuke and his friends!" Voldemort yelled and Septimus gave him a confused look

"Pardon me my lord but who exactly is this Sasuke?"

"The school with the red blazers."

"Oh those ones? Well there's not much I can say about them though. Their headmistress is fairly quiet woman and the most they've done so far is to blow up Severus's potions stock and that was only due to some misunderstanding. Oh and one of them seems to have become a close friend of Draco Malfoy. Why do you ask of them my lord?" he enquired and Voldemort smiled at the man as he nodded his head in approval

"Thank you Septimus that nod of acknowledgement was for the information you gave to me." He then pulled out his wand and pointed it at the man "And this is for daring to question me _crucio_!" Septimus screamed as his body convulsed and writhed in pain while the other death eaters barely spared him a glance before continuing with their previous conversation on who looks better in green, Narcissa Malfoy or Rita Skeeter.

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"Here are your textbooks, cauldrons and stationery." Katsume said as she floated the mentioned items towards the ten shinobi. "I trust that you will all go through the textbooks tomorrow. Now any news on Voldemort?"

"Well apparently the man can speak to snakes and he is the heir of one of the Hogwarts founders Salazar Slytherin. He is also apparently immortal, just as Sasuke said he split his soul and placed into several items which are called Whore cracks I believe."

"Where did you get all that info Neji?" Katsume asked

"A ghost in the castle told me, she also informed me that there is an entrance to Salazar's secret chamber but I need to be able to speak the snake language to open it. Apparently Harry Potter is the only one who can speak this language, apart from Voldemort that is."

"Oh yeah which reminds me! Neji your ghost girlfriend says thanks for keeping her company and you should visit soon you charming young man!" Naruto said in a mockingly sweet voice and Kiba snickered while Neji gave them both an unimpressed stare. Katsume cleared her throat loudly to gain their attention.

"Good job Neji, now we just need to work on finding these Whore cracks and Sasuke?" the man in question turned to look at Katsume who smiled "Could you get one of your snake summons to open the chamber?" Sasuke nodded and her smile widened "Great, does anyone else have info?"

"Well Harry Potter and his friends are working on reaching out to the Slytherins after Sasuke's wizard snapped at them about their unfair treatment towards Slytherins." Kiba piped up.

"The seer Luna Lovegood predicts that there is a war coming that is much larger than we think, she is also aware of who we are and why we are here, apparently she foresaw that as well. She wishes us the best of luck." Shino said

"I am a hundred percent sure that Draco Malfoy will never willingly become a death eater." Sasuke added as he recalled his conversation with the blond earlier today.

"The Hufflepuff house seems to be clear of any dark or suspicious characters and activities, should a war occur then I do not expect many of them to partake in it." Lee said and Chouji nodded in agreement.

"Ravenclaw has more potential death eaters than anyone thinks, I estimate about fifty seven percent of them are seriously considering it and not all of them are purebloods." Shikamaru added with a yawn. Katsume nodded

"That is quite a lot of information, good job. I need to write a report to your Hokage and the acting Kazekage, goodnight." She then quickly walked away from the group towards her room, the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw shinobi following suit.

Once everyone was out of earshot Suigetsu turned to face his fellow Slytherins "Well then, shall we get going?"

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"Greetings Vampire Lord, I am Lord Voldemort and this is my assistant-"

"Second in command."

" _Assistant_ and second in command Lucius Malfoy." The Vampire Lord gave them an amused look as he motioned for them to sit down.

"Salutations to both of you, I am Lord Vladimir Von Alucard and this is my wife A Von Alucard." The Vampire lord said while his wife gave Lucius an approving glance

"Love the hair." she remarked and Lucius smirked smugly

"Love the dress."

"Thanks, made it myself."

"Really?"

"Of course not, that's-"

"A pheasant's job?"

"My thoughts exactly, say Lucius how do you get your hair to look like that?"

"Great genes and five hours."

"Oh? You brush each strand separately? Why don't you get someone else to do it for you or are you poor?" the Vampire asked and Lucius shot her a dirty look

"How dare you suggest that I allow anyone other than myself to touch my precious hair?!" he then glared at the woman who's eyes widened a fraction

"Ah I did not mean to offend, it seems that you are quite fond of your hair."

"My hair is my life A-"

"I am sorry to interrupt but could we get back to the reason that we are all gathered here today?" Vladimir asked and earned to equally venomous glares from both his wife and the wizard. "I really am sorry." He added and his wife sneered at him before turning to Lucius

"I have a very impressive jewel and weaponry collection, would you care to see it?" Lucius nodded as he gracefully rose from his seat "Great, now do tell me where you got an individual strand brush, I've been looking for one of those for ages now." She said as she led Lucius further into the castle

Vladimir turned to face the dark lord "So Lord Voldemort, what is it exactly that you propose?"

"I am planning on waging a war against all the wizards that are not followers of mine and I need your help to accomplish that since while I may seem it I am not crazy enough to believe that I can possibly take on the entire wizarding world with just my death eaters which is why I need your help." Vladimir raised an eyebrow

"And why exactly would I want to help you with such a foolish goal? If that is what you came to propose then you are more idiotic than I thought you would be."

"Ah I know my goal might seem foolish to you but that is not what I am offering." Voldemort said with a smirk "What I am offering is an all you can eat buffet to your vampires, I am offering to give your kind entrance into my realm to feast on the blood and magic of countless wizards sparing only those who are barring my dark mark on their arm. Imagine Lord Von Alucard, your people haven't had fresh blood in ages since no other realm is willing to grant you entrance. Apart from my death eater gifts when last did you have fresh blood to drink?" Voldemort asked with a smug grin plastered onto his face. Vladimir absently licked his lips

"I see your point Lord Voldemort, very well you have our support with your foolish goal, we will await your go ahead then." Voldemort smiled and held out his hand which Vladimir shook

"Pleasure doing business with you Lord Von Alucard."

"Likewise Lord Voldemort, travel safely." Vladimir said

"You simply must come visit again Lucius, and do bring your wife along this time. She sounds absolutely delightful." A announced as both she and Lucius walked back into the room

"Without a doubt A dear, goodbye for now though." Lucius responded and A smiled.

"Goodbye new friend." And with that both Lucius and Voldemort walked through the portal leading back into their realm, leaving behind two very satisfied vampires.

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"Dammit Pansy stop pushing me."

"Well I wouldn't have to if you would just _move_ already!"

"Would the both of you kindly shut up, remember where we are."

"Suigetsu's right this is the Ravenclaw common room, so watch it."

"We already knew that Blaise!"

"Could all the DA members quit arguing and get back to the task at hand?"

"Didn't we agree on a different group name?"

"We did Millicent dear, Draco is in denial again."

"I am not in denial damn you!'

"Your facial expression proves otherwise."

"Quiet Uchiha. Nobody asked for your opinion."

"Nobody ever asks for your opinion on anything and yet you still find it necessary to instill it upon us. Every single day I might add."

"You son of a-"

"Oh come on!"

"What is it Theo"

"How come they get a fountain in their common room?"

"They have a fountain?"

"Let's ruin it as well!'

"Does anyone know any water changing spells?"

"…"

"…."

"…."

"..I know a spell that can turn the water into mud."

"Great so Gaara's got the fountain. Now let's be quick about this we still have the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and our own common room to redecorate."

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 _Next on Albus Dumbledore's Final Wish:_ **In which the chamber of secrets is re-opened**

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 **Z/N: So I just recently realized my laptop has been auto correcting Dumbledore to Dumbledoor, weird huh? OH AND I HAVE ALSO DECIDED THAT THERE WILL BE ABSOLUTELY NO PAIRINGS IN THIS FIC, just humor, drama and a whole lot of supernatural stuff. Till next time I guess.**

 **Disclaimer:** _I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter_


	7. In which the chamber of secrets

**In which the chamber of secrets is re-opened**

Hermione knew that today was not going to be a good day. It all started when she woke up a whole fifteen seconds later than usual, completely devastating her entire morning ritual but even she didn't expect this.

"What in the world happened here?" she whispered and Ginny who was also gawking at the sight of the Gryffindor common room slowly shook her head. Said common room had been completely destroyed. The once golden couches had been torn into and stuffing lay on the floor everywhere, the soft shaggy carpets were now brown and murky as if they had been dragged into dirty, horrid smelling swamp. The miniature lion statues were running around tearing into anything from the drapes to the students robes although the most horrifying detail of all was the words scrawled all over the walls in what looked to be-

"Hey Seamus is that blood on the walls?" Dean asked and Seamus walked up to the wall, wiped his finger over the red substance and licked it.

"Yep its blood alright, goat blood but blood nonetheless."

"Okay how do you know that and why did you just lick it?"

"First, my uncle owns a slaughterhouse and second, I can't smell blood so I need to taste it." Seamus responded in a bored tone. Everyone par from Dean took three steps away from him and he scoffed lightly.

"Oh stop being such babies and could someone please call professor McGonagall?" he asked and as if on cue the Gryffindor head of house rushed in followed by the other three heads of their respective houses.

They all stopped to survey the sight in front of them before professor Flitwick sighed forlornly and waved his wand to return the lion statues to their former inanimate states.

"Looks like all the common rooms have been vandalized by this Steve bloke Minerva." He said and Professor McGonagall took a deep breath before turning to face her fellow Gryffindors.

"You will all go to the great hall for breakfast." Nobody moved "I'm sorry did I stutter? Now get moving or you are all getting detention with professor Snape!" and within seconds the common room was deserted save for the four professors.

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The great hall was filled with chatter from every table when the Shinobi walked in. It seemed like everyone was having a conversation on who Steve was. Prefects were going from student to student and asking them for their full names so in short, the great hall was in utter chaos.

Naruto and Kiba walked over to where the Golden trio and friends sat, both on them taking a seat in between Ginny and Ron.

"What in the world is going on?" Naruto asked as he swiped a piece of bacon from a distracted Ginny's plate and munched on it.

"Last night all four common rooms were vandalized by a bloke called Steve now everyone is trying to figure out who he is." Harry explained and both Shinobi gave him a blasé look.

"Really? So you're telling me that nobody in this school knows who Steve is?" Kiba deadpanned and Naruto snickered "There's like only a hundred of you in this entire school." Naruto choked on his stolen piece of bacon but as Kiba was about to help his friend out a hand reached out and stopped him.

"He stole my bacon, let him suffer the consequences" Ginny said darkly and this time Hermione was the one who snickered. Kiba was about to respond when Septimus called for the entire hall to quiet down.

"Well as you students all know, some delinquent going by the name of Steve has completely vandalized all four common rooms. Now I hope you are all aware of the number of rules he or she has broken, first of all this student was up well after curfew, secondly this student knew all the common room passwords and lastly he or she has used his or her wand in an unauthorized manner. You can tell that this student has committed a very grave crime that is punishable by expulsion with immediate effect. My fellow professors have informed me that there is no student who goes by the name of Steve which means that it is probably a nickname so I urge you all to inform you head of house if you know who this Steve is, enjoy your breakfast." He then sat back down and the great hall returned to its normal chatter. Hermione turned to face Harry

""So Harry have you completed your potions essay yet? I've already completed mine so I think it might do you some good if I read through it before you hand it in." Harry blinked at the girl as Ron sent him a sympathetic look from the corner of his eye because apparently food is much more important than his best mate's life. Harry glared at him before deciding to just get over it and take the impending lecture like the manly man he was, he shot Hermione what he though was his winning Gilderoy Lockhart smile as he put an arm around her shoulders. "Hermione do you not trust me? Me, your best friend in the entire world? I am truly hurt." Hermione narrowed her eyes and Harry tried to widen his smile to extreme proportions.

"Harry…" she growled warningly and his smile immediately disappeared as he gulped audibly. "Did you or did you not do your potions essay, yes or no?" Naruto who had finally managed to dislodge the piece of bacon from his throat smiled sadly at the poor sod and with speed attained by more than six years of escaping death Harry grabbed two sandwiches and proceeded to quickly walk out of the great hall, easily manoeuvring around the group of first years who were now just entering the great hall.

"HARRY!" Hermione yelled and Harry, finally deciding that his life was more important than his manners stated pushing said first years out of his way as he picked up speed.

"Dammit kiddies, move already!"

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"Hah! Did you hear him, punishable by expulsion? He still thinks Steve is a person." Pansy remarked to the members of Steve who were currently in Draco's head boy room.

"I still can't believe the Hufflepuff common room looks better than ours." Blaise said and there were murmurs of agreement. "Like how does that make any sense? They are Hufflepuffs for Salazar's sake!"

"Well look at the bright side, we destroyed all the muggle ice-cream contraptions and their-"

"Forget the stupid common room, did you lot see Potter this morning or am I the only one who saw him shove three first years into a bowl of pumpkin juice?" Theo asked and Millicent glared at Blaise

"Yeah Blaise what was that all about?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Save it Zabini, what did you do to Potter?"

"Why don't you go ask Granger since she was the one screaming his name!"

"ehehehe-OW! What the hell Gaara?"

"Suigetsu grow up."

"I didn't do anything!"

"Um guys, where's Draco?"

"Oh he's in the astronomy tower."

"What in the world is he doing there?" Pansy asked and Sasuke shrugged

"Plotting world domination or something."

"Ah."

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"Damn this school, damn the miserable bloke who invented homework, damn Professor Snape, damn Voldemort and his mother and his mother's great great grandf-"

"As much as it thrills me to hear the golden boy using curse words, could you do it somewhere else I'm busy here." Harry simply flipped Draco the bird, pulled the balled sandwich out of his pocket and took a bite.

"That's disgusting." Draco said while sneering at the sandwich and Harry prepared to retaliate with an insult to his person or perhaps his mother when he recalled the last conversation he had with Malfoy back in Myrtles bathroom.

"Malfoy it's too early to fight, just leave me alone."

"Looks like even with glasses you're still blind. I was here first scar-head meaning the only one intruding here is you." Harry scoffed softly at the Slytherin.

"Well last time I checked this school wasn't called Malfoy-warts therefore I can sit wherever the hell I want blondie." Malfoy sneered before his eyes widened in confusion and the tiniest hint of amusement.

"Blondie? Who are you calling blondie Pothed?" Harry gave him a long sympathetic stare.

"Wow who knew purebloods were against mirrors, yes Malfoy you have blond hair, just like both your parents, I know completely baffling right? Its ok I'm sure someday the law against mirrors will be lifted. Just stay strong until then, although that would explain the appearance of most death eaters, I've always wondered why the never cease to look so….dirty." Draco gave him a confused stare before reaching his hand out to touch Harry's forehead.

"Potty are you feeling alright? Have you been hexed or are you finally off your rocker? I bet it's the after effects of being so bloody heroic all the time, serves you right."

"I am not going mad Malfoy and don't touch my forehead, not even Ron is allowed to do that anymore!"

"So you've been hexed? About bloody time, If only I had thought of this first. Oh well it's been fun Potter, see you in potions class." He then began to saunter off when Harry reached out and grabbed his hand.

"First of all you ungrateful wanker" Harry started and Draco scowled "I am not crazy nor have I been hexed. I was just showing a bit of sympathy towards the fact that purebloods aren't allowed to use mirrors when you-"

"Wait a tick, since when aren't purebloods allowed to use mirrors?" Harry gasped in surprise and realization. Of course now it makes sense how could I have not seen it?

"Oh Merlin, I've been picking on a blind person for the past six years. What kind of saviour am I? I'm sure not even Umbridge would do something so horrible to a blind wizard, wait..no she probably would." Malfoy's eyes narrowed before he took a step forward and squinted his eyes

"Salazar's snakes. I can't believe the great saint Potter is high, have you been hanging around with Uchiha? Or maybe it's that blond kid, I've always thought he looked a bit dopey I mean no sane person could ever be that loud." Harry bristled at the insult aimed towards his friend but before he could hex the ferret faced bastard he remembered his and Hermione's pact to be nicer towards Slytherins since it's not their fault that they were raised to be such pricks.

"You know what? You're right, I'm terribly sorry Malfoy, sorry that you are such an arsehole." And without sparing him a third glace Harry hightailed it out of the tower and made his way towards the Gryffindor common room.

"What did you just call me…Potter, POTTER get back here this instant!" and thus began the not so great Malfoy-Potter chase of 1997.

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Divinations was officially Sasuke's least favourite class, since both Malfoy and Potter were absent due to professor McGonagall who walked in on Malfoy attempting to strangle Potter to death and succeeding judging by the slightly blue tint that his skin had when they were found, both boys were sent to thee headmasters office which meant that one Slytherin had to pair with a Gryffindor and well you can guess who the two students were. Today their assignment was to look into a cup of tea in order to look into their future and currently Sasuke's future contained one very dead blond moron.

"Come on Bastard look deeper."

"I am looking you imbecile."

"And?

"I see tea."

"And?"

"My reflection."

"Aaaaan-"

"If you say 'and' one more time I will kick you." Sasuke seethed and Naruto's grin widened

"…Soshite?" Sasuke's eye twitched, let it never be said that Uchiha Sasuke has no self-control.

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Neji walked into Myrtles bathroom with one Sasuke's smaller snake summons hidden in his jacket and Shikamaru who had henged into Neji's shadow.

"Neji you finally came to see me!" a high pitched voice yelled out from behind him and it took quite a lot of his self-control to not throw a kunai at the ghost.

With a tight smile he turned to face the now giggling Myrtle "Yes Myrtle I have come to see you." Someone snorted and Neji wasn't sure if it was Shikamaru or the snake, though his money was on the latter "But first I need to have a look at the chamber of secrets you were telling me about."

"But Neji, only a parseltongue can open the chamber." Myrtle said with a hint of disappointment at not being able to assist the boy. Neji smiled and slowly shook his head

"It's okay Myrtle I know how to get through, now could you please show me the doorway to the chamber?" Myrtle looked at him suspiciously but pointed to a faraway basin nonetheless.

Neji walked over to the basin and pulled out the summon, Myrtle gasped in shock but quieted down when Neji placed a finger to his lips.

The summon hissed out something and the basin opened to reveal a secret passage which Neji and company proceeded to jump into.

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The Gryffindor trio stood outside the infirmary after Harry had been given a thorough check-up to see if there was no lingering damage on his person,

"Have any of you noticed that Voldemort has been suspiciously quiet this year? In fact not just Voldemort but the entire school is calm, a bit too calm actually." Hermione said and both wizards stared at her with shocked expressions.

"So the fact that the Wizard exchange program is about to begin is normal to you?"

"Or the fact that Voldemort sent a death eater requirement list to the daily prophet?"

"Or the fact that some bloke named Steve completely vandalized all four common rooms in one night without anyone hearing or seeing him?"

"And the fact that Draco Malfoy, the pureblood extraordinaire just tried to kill me using a muggle method?"

"Or the fact that we made a Slytherin boy cry and got scolded by said Malfoy?"

"Or the fact that Moaning Myrtle thinks that-"

"Okay I get it! Still I can't shake off the feeling that something big is about to happen."

"Um hello, the Wizard exchange program that only occurs one in every 100 years?"

"No Ron, something else, something bad is coming and it is coming fast." Hermione whispered and Harry shook his head while Ron sighed in defeat

"Whatever you say Mione."

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It was right after lunch when all the members of STEVE had assembled once again in Draco's room. Most of them who were currently in good spirits due to the fact that everyone still thought Steve was a bloke and not only that but the professors and the headmaster also believed that Steve was a Gryffindor bloke.

"Well I guess it is safe to say that we have gotten away with our first act of wickedness." Blaise supplied and the others offered nods of agreement "So what do we do next? Do we just lay low or do we hit them with another attack?"

"I do not believe that commencing with another attack would be in our best interest though, I've heard from the portraits that al common rooms and hallways leading to them will be scrutinized quite closely for the next few to see if Steve decides to make another move." Millicent added

"All the more reason to attack them now." Gaara said "Since they are so focused on guarding the common rooms, this will give us an easy opening to the other rooms in the castle for example the Great hall or the classrooms or even the school grounds." Draco grinned at that

"The great hall, wonderful suggestion there I've always wanted to redecorate that ghastly excuse of a hall." He said with a hint of disgust as he remembered the place in which he was forced to have his meals "I say we do that next."

"I have a few ideas, first we add platinum plates and Garnet goblets. The utensils could at least be gold plated or even diamond studded" Sasuke snorted at that and Pansy glared at him "What?"

"Hm I was under the impression that the objective of this entire ordeal was to create as much chaos as possible and to instil fear into both the students and the teachers minds and I am quite sure that not even the first year Hufflepuffs are afraid of expensive eating utensils." He finished and Pansy reluctantly conceded.

"So how do we go about with this?"

"Well I have tons of ideas on how to completely gothify the great hall starting with those banners." Theo said, a gleeful look permanently etched onto his face. Siugetsu grinned along with him.

"Now you're speaking my language."

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"This place is filthy." Neji remarked as he dusted himself off after landing on a pile of hat looked to be animal bones and rubble. Shikamaru and the summon both rolled their eyes as they respectively moseyed and slithered over the pile of rocks and jumped further into the chamber. Neji scoffed at the two but moved to follow. They stood for a moment to survey the place, their sharp eyes quickly raking over the giant snake skeleton, the fang which was caked with dried blood and the pile of glitter that lay next to it.

"Well this is depressing." The summon said as he slithered over to taste the glitter which he immediately spat out "Bleh, human remains!" Neji raised an eyebrow at that as Shikamaru yawned.

They all then headed inside the mouth of the giant statue that looked kind of similar to the old dead wizard they left in Konoha and came across two different pipes heading towards opposite directions. The two Shinobi nodded at each other in a silent confirmation but before they could go their separate ways the summon coughed loudly, successfully getting their attention.

"Both those tunnels lead to back here, they are simply diversions, if I am correct then this entire chamber is also just a diversion and the real chamber of secrets is hidden somewhere within these pipes. "Neji activated his Byakugan and pointed in the direction of the second tunnels inner wall.

"There, I can see a small magical signature, something seems to have been written there though not in any human language. Wait a minute I've seen this kind of writing before, yes it is used to send messages to Mount Fukiwara, the Legendry hidden snake village. Keisuki could you please read what is written there?" the snake slithered over to the tunnel and started tracing the inner walls with his tongue, finally he slithered back out, a satisfied smile of his face.

"The entrance to the real chamber is right there but there is a specific kind of person who can open this chamber, to open this chamber we need a person who is cruel to the deepest level, someone who is extremely self-absorbed and is completely devoid of basic human emotions such as empathy and compassion, an individual who can make a high class AMBU black op cry in fear and despair, someone with an unspeakably evil mind and basically an all-around monks worst nightmare, we need Japan's very own heartless bastard." The snake paused for added dramatics

"We need Sasuke Uchiha."

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 _Next on Albus Dumbledore's final wish_ **: In which the chamber of secrets is opened for real this time and the Dark Lord's plan is finally revealed.**

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 **Z/N:** _ **Three words, Psychology practical exams. I have never written so much in my entire life! On the bright side though I got to hang out in a strip club for my thesis which was actually pretty cool. I've never realized just how much crap strippers have to take every day because of the various stereotypes about them. Anywho I'm back now and will hopefully upload the next chapter within a week. Do people even read these notes?**_

 **Disclaimer:** _Harry Potter and Naruto belong to J.K Rowling and Masashi Kishimoto respectively._


	8. In which Voldemort's plan is finally

**In which the chamber of secrets is opened for real this time and the Dark Lord's plan is finally revealed**

"Can I have everyone's attention please? Um hello, hellooooo? Okay the next person to open their big mouth will receive detention for the next month no matter where you're from!" Septimus Order bellowed during breakfast, resulting in the entire great hall falling silent and staring at the Hogwarts Headmaster. "Thank you now since today is the beginning of the traditional wizarding exchange program I will be letting the respective headmistresses and master to tell us a bit about their schools before I inform you about the proceedings and changes that we have made. Now please give a round of applause for Madame Olympe Maxime." Everyone clapped as the Beauxbatons headmistress stood up

"Thank you, Beauxbatons is a wizarding school where we teach young witches and wizards to have elegance and grace. We believe that a gentle way of teaching results in well-mannered, sophisticated and compassionate students and hence we do not have any dark arts classes. Our classes are more or less the same as the ones here in Hogwarts." She ended with a slight bow and the students clapped, then the Durmstrang headmaster stood up

"In Durmstrang we teach discipline, strength and bravery. We pride ourselves in producing only the most well informed and advanced wizards. Our classes centre on teaching to cast and defend against the toughest spells, whether dark or light. A spell is a spell after all." The Slytherins and Ravenclaws clapped loudly while the other two houses gave him a wary look

"Konoha all boys wizarding academy is well, an all-boys wizarding academy." There were scattered chuckles and Katsume smiled "Our school mainly focuses on harnessing ones speciality or talent and helping them develop it to the best of our abilities, we also teach our students teamwork and skills on how to get the upper hand in any given situation or environment whether it be a deadly forest or a torture chamber our job is to make sure that our students not only survive but to also thrive in life." The Shinobi, the Slytherins and only a handful of Ravenclaws clapped loudly at that while everyone else tried to figure out if she was joking or not. Katsume sat down as a slightly pale Septimus stood up and motioned for great hall to fall silent again.

"Now that you have gotten an idea of the other schools I will tell you about the changes, both the Ministry and I have decided that the old wizarding exchange proceeding are severely outdated and will not be as exiting to the youth of today so we have chosen to change the entire schedule. Instead of having the headmasters teach you all about their schools you students will show each other the types of spells, charms and potions that you are being taught which means that for the duration of the program all classes will be cancelled" There was a roaring round of applause that Septimus decided to let die out on its own for once. "So I would like all the seventh years to remain behind and everyone else, go catch up some sleep or your homework." Needless to say the great hall was near deserted in less than 10 seconds. Only the professors and some very pitiful looking seventh year students remained.

"To honour our guests we have decided to have 10 events in total so that they each get to showcase their skills, unfortunately there are more than 10 seventh years so we have chosen to pick 2 students from each house along with two more students from the top two houses to compete. So without wasting time when I call your name please come stand in front, from the Hufflepuff house we have chosen Zachariah Smith and Hannah Abbott. From the Ravenclaw hose we have chosen Padma Patil and Anthony Goldstein. From the Slytherin house we have Blaise Zabini, Millicent Bulstrode and Draco Malfoy. Lastly from the Gryffindor house we have Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and Lavender Brown." As soon as all ten students were standing in front of him Septimus smiled "Ladies and gentlemen I present to you the Hogwarts representatives for the 30th wizarding exchange programme. Everyone who is not a representative may leave now." He waited for the hall to clear out before turning to face the representatives who were now seated again.

"The exchange programme will be testing the different strengths and weaknesses each school has with a series of activities. The programme will span over the next three months. The first part of the programme will last for exactly ten days excluding weekends. In these ten days each one of the representatives will participate in a challenge between the four schools, the challenges may vary from Duelling and Auror to something as simple as the proper wizarding etiquette so choose your champions wisely." He then pulled out a brightly glowing blue cauldron from underneath the staff table and placed it on top of high wooden chair that had been placed there earlier "Each dinner someone will pull a slip of parchment from within the cauldron which will contain the task that is to be performed, then the respective schools will have the rest of the night to pick their competitor. I suggest that you all meet to figure out each other's strengths and weaknesses before it's too late." He ended and the students left the meeting, most feeling a mix of excitement, nervousness and dread.

As the Hogwarts representatives made their way towards the Quidditch grounds to 'figure out each other's strengths and weaknesses' Harry leaned over to Hermione

"So Hermione, I think I understand what you meant when you said something bad was coming"

"Oh really now?"

"Yes I mean we do have Lavender and Zachariah Smith in our team so-Ow!" Harry yelled as Hermione punched him in the head

"Watch it Potter."

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"So I'm going to go ahead and say that what Order said was not part of the plan?" Kiba asked as they all sat cross-legged in a circle back inside the fortress. Katsume sighed

"I really wish I knew what was going on in that head of his."

"Couldn't a member of the Yamanaka clan help with that? Or even Sasuke's Tsukiyomi."

"No we can't use any of those techniques as they might give us away to the enemy, anyway Neji and Shikamaru did you get any helpful Intel from the chamber of secrets?"

"Well while we did succeed in opening the chamber of secrets, Keisuke informed us that it was only a diversion chamber and that the real chamber of secrets has yet to be opened and currently the only one who is capable of opening it is Sasuke Uchiha." Neji said and everyone turned to stare at the now intrigued looking Sasuke.

"Why me?"

"Let us just say that your personality perfectly matches the one required to enter the chamber." Shikamaru said quickly before Neji could speak once more. Katsume smiled at that

"If that's the case then I suggest we forgo the strength and weakness talk and instead carry on with our mission. Neji, Shikamaru and Sasuke will head back to the Chamber of secrets, Kiba and Naruto you two will use this time to subtly interrogate the redhead boy, Lee and Chouji I need you two to head to the Hogwarts kitchens and speak with the house elves, I believe that they might be the key to being able to communicate with Hogwarts. Shino you will accompany me to the headmaster meeting I am about to attend, you will be under and invisibility jutsu so that you can place one of your bugs in Septimus Order's office, we need to find out exactly what is going on with him. Gaara and Suigetsu-"

"Suigetsu and I will be with the Slytherins for the duration of the day, we are already beginning to gain their trust." Gaara interrupted and Katsume gave him a bemused look.

"Oh kay then let's get moving."

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Septimus stood in front of his fireplace and smirked lightly when the flames turned green

"My Lord I have great news, both the Ministry and the Headmasters have agreed to my change of plans."

"Good work Minion, now the cauldron?"

"I have strategically manipulated it into pulling out the activities that you have chosen, I will also weaken the wards when they perform _that_ activity my Lord." The figure in the fireplace grinned

"Good, good and the Konoha students?"

"Currently it looks like they really are here for the programme, as I said before they don't really stand out or do anything suspicious." The figure nodded.

"Stick with the plan and for your sake do not mess this up minion."

"Of course my Lord." Septimus said as he bowed to the figure.

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"This place stinks." Were the first words that Sasuke uttered as he climbed into the pipes leading to the real chamber of secrets. Keisuke the summon rolled his eyes and slithered over to an empty wall within the giant pipes and hissed something out. Immediately after his hisses a serpent carved out of marble emerged from within the wall, the face opened its eyes to glare at the Shinobi and summon.

"You foolish mortals dare awake the guardian of Salazar Slytherin's private chambers? Now quickly state your business here or perish like the ones who have come before you." It seethed out as its face contorted into the one of Salazar Slytherin himself. Sasuke snorted and moved to stand right in front of Salazar.

"Open this chamber."

"How dare you speak to me like that boy? Why I ought to-"

"Yeah whatever listen old man I really have better things to do tan to stand here speaking to a damn statue so just do us both a favour and open the damn chamber." Sasuke said as he glared at the now affronted looking founder.

"Young man do you know who I am? I am the great Salazar Slytherin, founder of the Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry and patriarch of one of the noblest families in the wizarding community!" Salazar roared and Sasuke yawned

"So, am I supposed to care? Do you know who I am? I am Uchiha Sasuke, the last remaining member of the most powerful clan in all of the five great nations and wielder of the legendary Mangekyou Sharingan. Now I repeat, open the damn door before I make you." Sasuke deadpanned

"If your clan is so great then how come you re the last remaining member?" Salazar smirked

"I could ask you the same question because according to my sources there is absolutely no one with the surname Slytherin currently in existence. At least my surname still lives you fossilized moron." Sasuke retorted smoothly and Salazar's smirk widened.

"Well well it seems that you might actually have a shot at opening my chamber of secrets." Shikamaru and Keisuke snorted and Neji gave them a dirty look "but in order for the doorway to open you will have to answer the following question correctly. In a man's life there are three things that they hold dearly, what are those thing?"

"Tch that's easy, me myself and I." Sasuke answered in a tone that suggested that everyone should know that already

"You fool!" Neji and Shikamaru sighed in relief, at least Salazar Slytherin had some common sense. One self-centred sociopath was more than enough already "The correct answer is Money, Fame and Power." Alas it was just a dream

"I'm rich, I'm popular throughout the entire Shinobi realm and I don't have any enemies."

"Because everyone in your realm fears you?" Salazar asked in awe and Sasuke scoffed

"No, because I killed them, honestly and you call yourself a noble. I've answered your question now open the damn door, this horrid smell is giving me a headache." Salazar growled threateningly at Sasuke who simply crossed his arms and raised a challenging eyebrow in return. Shikamaru and Neji both sat down since it looked like they weren't going anywhere anytime soon, after all they were currently in the company of the two most self-centred and egotistical beings to ever exist.

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"I, Lord Voldemort am a very smart wizard." Lord Voldemort proclaimed out of the blue as he sipped some Wizard Grey tea. Lucius who was seated right across from him raised an elegant eyebrow in question "You see I was originally going to blackmail your son to help some of my other minions into the school so they could kill that old fool Dumbledore, you know since he is still too young to take the dark mark."

"Excuse me my lord but last time I checked that was exactly what you did, I am still rather miffed about that stunt you pulled." Lucius said and Voldemort raised a hand to silence him

"Don't interrupt me Lucius, now as I was saying. After your son had killed the fool I would have made Severus the schools headmaster and then everything would have gone to hell after that."

"And so what made you change your mind?"

"Dumbledore seemed to have stumbled upon and taken one of my decoy horcruxes, the one you charmed with the poison and I figured why waste my time with killing him when he already had both feet at death's door? That's when I devised another plan, one better than the original one."

"Ah of course, the plan involving getting Nagini to get Bellatrix to obliviate Harry Potter back at the tower and lulling the wizarding world into a false sense of comfort while making alliances with other realms."

"Yes and the ministry only made it that much easier by employing one of my minions as the ne Hogwarts headmaster."

"You do realize that I'm the one who came up with more than half of the plan right?"

"And you work for me hence making all your ideas mine by default." Voldemort proclaimed proudly and Lucius sighed

"Of course they are." He murmured "so what now?" he added in his normal tone

"Now the real fun starts, I just got a call from my minion stating that the changes I made to the Exchange program have been approved by the ministry so now all we do is observe the strengths and weaknesses of all those schools so that when we strike, we will leave absolutely no survivors." Lucius smirked and clapped slowly

"Smart thinking my lord."

"These wizards have annoyed me for the last time but when I strike they will finally learn exactly what true fear is. I will slaughter each and every one of those who oppose me and I will not stop until the streets have completely been dyed crimson, trust me Lucius when we finally attack, those wizards won't know what hit them."

"It's funny how you keep saying 'we' when we both know that I will be doing most of the work."

"Yes Lucius I know that you are the greatest strategist ever known to wizard kind, it really is no wonder that you are already growing grey hairs."

"…grey hairs you say?" Lucius asked in a quiet tone and lord Voldemort nodded "Excuse me for a moment while I go check on the prisoners in the dungeons." He said as he rose from the chair and regally swaggered out of the room, head held high.

Voldemort chuckled to himself as soon as Lucius disappeared down the stairs "And that is why _I_ am the dark lord, still I have to give him credit for that exit of his."

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Lee and Chouji smiled as they walked into the Hogwarts kitchens and were hit with the many different food aromas. They immediately walked towards one of the large tables and sat down on the surrounding chairs. Lee frowned

"Chouji I thought that this place would be a bit livelier and more youthful, could it be that we are actually in the wrong room perhaps?" he asked Chouji who shrugged in return, just then there was a loud clank from behind the table. Both Shinobi quickly pulled out their wands and slowly crept towards the source of the sound, on a mutual count of three the Shinobi sprung out and pointed their wands threateningly at about 60 pairs of large eyes. The owners of said eyes gave a startled cry and the Shinobi quickly placed their wand pack into their pockets.

"Oh dear we are so sorry! Please excuse our brash manner." Lee said before standing up straight and stating in a formal manner "I am Rock Lee and this here is my friend Chouji, we are from the Konoha All Boys Wizarding Academy." This was followed by a very uncomfortable silence which lasted for about five minutes before one of the large eyed creatures stood and faced Lee.

"Lippy is sorry for Lippy's friends' silence, see it is not every day that wizards apologise to us house elves." The creature said then added quietly "Even though you aren't really wizards." To normal wizards and people that could have easily not been heard but the two Shinobi heard it loud and clear

"Wait, you mean you know who we are?" Chouji asked quietly and Lippy's eyes widened and another house elf threw himself on the floor and started bowing frantically

"Dippy is sorry for Lippy's slip up but we haven't told anyone about it, please don't punish Lippy!" Lippy nodded along "It's not Lippy's fault that he has such a big mouth." Dippy added and Lippy stopped nodding to glare at the now smirking house elf

"And what is that supposed to mean dear brother?" Lippy snarled, which sounded quite ridiculous with his squeaky voice

"Oh come on, we both know that it was not by coincidence that mother named you Lippy."

"Oh really now? Name one name that rhymes with _Dippy_."

"Skippy, Gippy, Hippie, Shippy, Whippy, Mippy, Pippy, Ippy, Zippy, Gri-"

"I said one! Besides there is no house elf alive with any of those names, except maybe Skippy, and Zippy, and cousin Mippy…look the fact remains that all those names are much worse than mine."

"Yes because there is an entire city of house elves going by the name Lippy." Dippy drawled and Lippy growled

"Why you child of a cabbage." Before Dippy could reply that they had the same mother he was tackled by a furious Lippy. The other house elves gathered around the sibling while raising their tiny fists and chanting 'fight' over and over again. Both Shinobi made a move to stop the fight but were disrupted by another lf clearing his/her throat

"Young Shinobi sirs might as well sit down, Dippy and Lippy will not cease fighting for another hour or so no matter who intervenes." Lee and Chouji sighed and reluctantly sat down "might Hugh perhaps offer some food and drinks while young Shinobi sirs wait? Hugh can cook anything young sirs would like to eat for the duration of the fight." And pretty soon there were two much deeper and slightly louder voices chanting 'fight' along with the gathered house elves.

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The four headmasters were currently sitting in a circle in Septimus Order's office diligently discussing the exchange programme.

"Great now that we all agreed to the terms and conditions of the programme we should move on to the more pressing matters at hand."

"Before we move, could we perhaps now what kind of challenges our students will have to face?" Igor Karkaroff asked and Septimus slowly shook his head.

"The minister of magic saw it fit to let an unspeakable set the challenges so that nobody gets an unfair advantage, even I am currently unaware of the challenges." Suddenly there was a sharp intake of breath and the headmasters all turned towards the source of the sound only to find absolutely nothing except for Septimus' desk. They all turned back to the circle looking confused.

"Ah mister Septimus before you carry on I have a request." Olympe Maxime said and Septimus motioned for her to continue speaking. "Well I was thinking that per'aps we could hold a dance for the students just like in the tri-wizard tournament, it will be great for the schools to interact properly." The other two headmasters nodded their heads in silent agreement.

"I am sorry to say this but my kids will not be able to attend this dance of yours." Katsume added forlornly

"And why is that Mrs Yashinoka?"

"You see back in Hiroshima we rarely ever dance and when we do it is a dance that involves sharp blades and occasionally fire and lightning." Katsume stated in a rather calm manner while the three wizards widened their eyes in disbelief and one invisible Shinobi silently snickered.

"I am sure that Minerva would be more than happy to teach your boys how to dance Mrs Yashinoka." Septimus said and Katsume shook her head

"This dance of yours is a very good idea but you see as I said we do not dance unless it is a wedding or when a mortal enemy dies in which we dance on his or her grave." The headmasters gasped as Katsume continued "Although we don't always dance on the grave per say, if you are the one who killed them then you are more than welcome to light their corpses on fire and dance around the flames. Personally I think the fire is a much better idea than the grave. We would be more than happy to demonstrate the dace to you if you'd like."

"No! no I don't that will be necessary, your students can skip the dance then."

"I am glad that we have come to an agreement, now Mr Order the pressing matters at hand? What are they?"

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"So why have the young Shinobi sirs come to the kitchen?" Hugh asked the now satisfied Shinobi, the other house elves also perked up at the question since the Dippy Lippy fight had died down a few minutes ago.

"Well since you know who we are I'm guessing you also know why we are here at Hogwarts?" Chouji asked and the house elves nodded their heads vigorously

"Yes, Dumbledore sir hired you to help protect the students of Hogwarts from the allied forces of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." One elf stated wisely.

"Well since you know everything we might as well ask you this, Mr Dumbledore told us that Hogwarts may be able to help us during the oncoming war, do you have any idea on how to speak with her?"

"Oh young Shinobi sirs must have the wrong impression, while Hogwarts may have its own magical signature, it is not a living being and will only help us house elves since we are like its soul."

"So Hogwarts will do your bidding should you ask?" Chouji enquired and the elf beamed

"Yes! It is one of the reasons us house elves feel the safest here because as long as Hogwarts identifies the house elf as one of its own it will do whatever the elf asks. Why else would us Hogwarts house elves be so happy all the time, because we know that no matter who inhabits the castle they can't hurt us in here!"

"If that is the case then why were Lippy and Dippy begging us not to hurt them?"

"We just like messing with people besides it wouldn't do us much good if we no longer had the element of surprise. Let the wizards think that they have complete power over us but should they ever cross us house elves there will be hell to pay." Lippy ended with a sadistic smirk while the other house elves made noises of agreement. Lee smiled before leading forward and completely enveloping fie house elves in a giant hug

"How youthful of you to have all this power and still remain humble, you have all inspired me to work harder in my quest for world peace! I will now run seventy laps around the school in honour of your humbleness!" and with that Lee let go of the house elves, wiped his tears off with his blazer sleeve and sprinted out of the kitchen. Hugh turned to give Chouji a slightly amused look

"Is young shinobi sir's friend always like this?" he asked and Chouji smiled

"You get used to it, now if you will excuse me I need to go make sure he doesn't unknowingly cause trouble." Chouji bowed to the house elves but before he could leave he was stopped by a tiny hand on his arm.

"You both seem like very kind Shinobi and we as the house elves would like to say that should you ask, Hogwarts will happily assist you in this battle." An elderly looking house elf stated and Chouji's eyes slowly began to water

"Thank you so much Mr?"

"Father."

"Thank you so much father." He bowed once more, oblivious to the shocked looking house elves, after all it wasn't every day that a human _bowed_ to a house elf "Oh and uhm I know this might be too much to ask but Lee and I have really enjoyed your company and, uhh could we possibly come back sometime?" there was a moment of silence before Hugh stepped up

"Tomorrow at about 12pm we are celebrating Father's 812th birthday, you are both more than welcome to attend."

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The great hall was filled with loud chatter from all four tables, students were discussing and placing bets on the challenge that would be chosen and it was an overall comfortable atmosphere, that is except for one corner of the hall where the members of STEVE were situated.

"This was not supposed to happen!" Millicent seethed "Now how on earth are we supposed to get in the great hall when the bloody Aurors will constantly be here guarding that Merlin forsaken cauldron?"

"Millicent, don't you see how much of a gift this challenge is? Imagine the many different ways that we could sabotage it." Draco drawled "Especially since we are on the same team as Potter, we could make sure that he crashes and burns, preferably to death but I guess I can settle for critically injured."

"Oh would you get over your obsession with Potter already, it's been 7 years!" Pansy said and was rewarded with a dirty look from the blond wizard

"Although Draco is right about this challenge being a great opportunity. They announce the challenges to the entire school the night before right? So we can spend the rest of dinner planning and then execute it the next day."

"The next day? Why don't we just do it the same night?" Suigetsu asked and there was a brief silence before Pansy turned to face him with a plastic smile firmly pasted onto her face.

"Suigetsu dear, do you remember what we did a couple of days ago?"

"Yes, we completely destroyed all four common rooms in one night."

"And then what happened the next day?" the smile got wider

"Everyone found out and the great hall was in utter chaos."

"What happened after that?" Pansy urged on, her face starting to look like peeves.

"Then the headmaster ordered everyone to…oh."

"Tch idiot."

"Don't start with me Uchiha."

"Why would I need to do that? It seems that you are perfectly capable of making yourself look like a moron." Sasuke retorted smoothly but before Suigetsu could lunge over and strangle his friend the minister of magic stood up and the hall was reduced to complete silence.

"Well then I'm sure that we all know why I am here so I won't bore you with a speech. This cauldron over here has ten slips of parchment, each one filled with a challenge that a single student from each of the four schools will have to partake in so without further ado let the games begin!" there was a loud roar of applause and cheer as the minister dipped his hand into the cauldron and pulled out a single strip of parchment. The hall fell silent again and the minister's eyes widened as he read what was on the parchment.

"Well this is unexpected."

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 _Next on Albus Dumbledore's Final Wish:_ **In which the challenge begins**

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 _ **Z/N:**_ **I've always thought that house elves were way cooler than wizards I mean come on! All a house elf had to do when they want something to appear or disappear (including themselves) is to snap their fingers. No want or incantation needed! Forget cool, house elves are awesome!**

 **Disclaimer:** _No I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto nor do I want to. I wouldn't even know what to do with em._


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